Being Human Series 5 premiere: ‘The Trinity’ review

Being Human series 5

Hal, Tom and that moany Scottish ghost return for an unlikely fifth series of Being Human. As every other reviewer today is no doubt parroting, this is the first series of Being Human with exactly none of the original cast. Last year, they managed to keep Lenora Crichlow around to the bitter end. Then they blew her (and a baby) up, sending her permanently to the “other side”, which in this case turned out to be a movie about the British female relay team.

There’s good and bad news in ‘The Trinity‘, the premiere episode this year. We’ve picked up with Tom and Alex helping Hal overcome his blood lust. But, as knuckleheaded as Tom is, deciding Hal was rehabilitated based on the fact that he was correcting Alex’s grammar again felt a tad too quick. That, and Hal predictably mishandling an altercation with a nerdy man in the street, which suddenly escalated into Hal turning the guy into a vampire.

Strange and disappointing was Alex’s desperate need to cross over by getting word to her family about what happened her, only to discover that her body had been returned to them, complete with a cover story. And so she suddenly accepts this and decides to move on with literally no hand-wringing about what forces were preventing her from passing on. I loved Kate Bracken’s character in Series 4 of Being Human, but between releasing fledgling vampires and constantly blaming Hal for her death, Alex was becoming a bit tiresome by the end of the episode. I hope they can keep some of her original fiery attitude but lose the negativity.

Although it seemed like a lame setup, the introduction of Cram/Crumb as a new vampire actually ended on a hopeful note. I loved his massacre in the office, by the way. Sad nerd returns to office where he was sidelined for years and butchers his #1 rival. And suddenly, Cram went from being the pathetic office dweller to murderous vampire. Yet his attempts to sound dramatic fell hilariously short of the mark – “I’m the crumb who got stuck in humanity’s throat” was particularly terrible!

However, it’s Crumb’s crossing paths with Dominic Rook’s soon-to-be-defunct Government agency that interests me. Rook was told that his department was being shut down, despite his dire warnings. But Rook has taken Crumb into custody, and if my guess is correct, he’s planning to unleash a vampiric hellstorm to show that his department does important work and is needed to keep the supernatural threat under wraps.

Elsewhere, the slow-burning series of flashbacks finally came to an end with a fairly predictable ending – that Satan was alive and well and living in a shitty hotel in Barry, Wales. Phil Davis has a face for playing the devil, and what an incarnation, with his yellowing teeth and love of Jeremy Clarkson. I must also single out the girl he sent mad – her blood-writing on the hotel room wall was first class. Incredibly legible and with just the right amount of run on the blood drops.

There was a distinct lack of warmth and humour about this episode, and it felt like everything was being reset for a standard “flatmates versus a powerful enemy” story arc. That wouldn’t ordinarily be a bad thing, but we’ve been through four years of this by now, and this episode felt like it was being done according to the Vampire Drama Textbook. I think with this new threesome, we needed them to invest in some ‘neutral time': a few lighter scenes showing Alex, Hal and Tom just co-existing before lurching straight into the next big drama.

What did you think of the return episode of Being Human? Sound off in the comments below.

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