Dangerous Love With Danielle Lloyd– A Comic Relief Special
Model Danielle Lloyd embarks on a journey to uncover the true extent of violence in teen relationships in the UK today and to understand the impact “dangerous love” is having on Britain’s young women.
Visiting organisations funded by Comic Relief, Danielle hears the real stories of teenagers who have violent boyfriends. She meets 21-year-old Sam, an inspirational young woman who, having survived violence in her teenage years, is now supporting others. Danielle also meets 19-year-old Gareth, who has beaten his partner in the past but has attempted to deal with these violent tendencies through a programme designed for perpetrators.
Danielle’s search for answers also involves going back to school with children in Hendon to see ground-breaking solutions in action. Determined to stop more teens finding themselves in abusive relationships, Danielle’s journey ends finding out about a campaign to directly spread the word and make a difference.
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im watching danielles documentary while im writing thisand it is so touching, when i was 17 i was with a guy and he use to hit me when he was drunk, and for some reason i always accepted it, first time he picked me up by my throat, 2nd time he slapped me around the face, new year 3 years ago he also broke into my parents home and put a knife to my throat and slit his wrists and all his arms in front of me, i never told anyone what was goin on, it was almost like i was embarrassed, then 2 days before my 18th birthday he punched me in the face, and this time he was not drinkin, and the result were worse, he fractured my jaw and nose, on my 18th birthday i decided to move away to rugby to be with my dad and its th best thing i ever done, im thankful for what i went through as now im a much stronger person and would never let anyone treat me or bring me down the way he did, im now living with my fiancee and gettin married in 2011 and life is great!
I am actually disgusted by the gender sterotyping of this show the BBC actually posted information and an amazing newsbeat article showing that violence is not a gender issue and in fact men under 24 are at a higher risk of partner dv than women ( only by a percentage but still higher) they even had an amazing show with nicky campbell on the radio to cover it.
Erin prizzy the founder of the first womans shelter has long commented that dv isnt a gender specific yet last night we had yet another show perpetuating the myth that men are the abusers all the time while females are the victims, this showed that the few services in the uk for male victims ( and often these victims are trying to take abused kids with them for protection) are woefully underfunded, undersupported i meanm even the signs at the end of the show for identifying dv at home were gender signed showing men as the abuser, as a victim in the past if i was trying to get help now i would never have felt more marginalised than i did last night.
Duncan, Men are usually the abusers of men and women. It’s a fact. Get yours right.
Remember: Male violence against women and children is a global pandemic.
Prizzy is full of crap. I can’t believe she condemns the womens movement as destroying the family…and causing single parenthood, which she seems to see as some kind of evil. I was violently raped by my husband. Thank God I was given courage to leave by a female counselor I had. I am a single parent and proud of it. My child, now 21, has never had a father in her life and she does not miss it one single bit. And she is not “damaged” in any way shape or form. She is hugely successful in her life.
She has had however very positive loving male friends of mine in her life. And we have always lived with a strong people centred community. Prizy condemes the women’s movent to be white middle class. Yes…thats how a lot of movements start. But it has mobilsed women all over the world to speak out. It is not a white middle class issue.
How about dv in India? In Saudi etc. Women are abused and killed all the time. Men get away with it. Men used to get away with it in the UK, America..and still do. You forget that women were considered “property” of men not long ago. And with this came abuse. Rape by a man was legal if they were married.
I used to work with Rape Crisis and met a lot of men who had been raped…by guess who…MEN. These so called statistics you mention…do they include abuse of men BY MEN. Because that happens alot. I am not denying that women can be abusive. Of course it exists. But the reality is that men have primarily been the abusers. How many women rape men? How many women are raped by men?
Just to add…the violent rape happened after months of other controling abuse and it happened a couple meters from our 9 month old baby as she was playing in her crib, which then turned to crying and screaming. You know why he raped me? Because I went out for the first time in my daughters 8 months of life and he had to look after the baby (which he had never done before because he never was around. When I got home he accused me of “f—-” another man. The wierd thing is…he was involved in a long standing relationship with another woman at the time. This is the kind of crap women put up with. Hmm…I seriously doubt very many women would rape their male partner right in front of their children. The number of women who rape men is miniscule anyway.
Well said Duncan.
Here’s my two pennies worth.
Sexist Feminism… A recent BBC comment, “Men are just as likely to be the victim of domestic violence as women.” So if this is now admitted AND knowing what we know about given ’statistics’ it is safe to say men are 2 or 3 times likely to be attacked by women. This program turned my guts but obviously shows itself as Sexist Feminism. But hey it’s red nose and for charity so heeeeeey man hating feminists of the world, have a laugh at the guys and pick up some tips on how to make your ’special mans’ life hell. Disappointed but not surprised.
Ciao
Dave your words are vacant. Did you even read my message? I am not for or against men and I resent men accusing women of this. We are against abuse and that includes against men, women and children. And the fact is that most abuse is caused by men towards other men, children and women. It’s not really even worth replying to you because ironically you are the opposite gender hater not me…not the BBC. I have a lot of respect for men who treat people equally and fairly just as I do for anyone, This should be the norm but I can see from your posting that you are woman hater. You have no respect.
Honestly tho how many Women beat up their husbands? how unlikely is that!!! it is a fact that more men abuse their Female partners so men honestly just accept it!!
And you get your fact and figures from where?
I was having my 2 pennies worth and agreeing with Duncan. I hadn’t and haven’t read all YOUR comments poggy I’ve heard more than enough stories and views from women to know better than to bother with most. Do you think I need to? are your comments for me?
I’ll leave you to your views and I’ll have mine.
Give male victims as many avenues as women victims have when they are abused and THEN lets see who the bullies of society are nowadays.
The female aggressor can even turn the tables on her victim the way things are and they do, cry wolf constantly undermining GENUINE womens plight and the rights of their male victim.
Like i said give male victims as many avenues with out the attached shame and THEN we would see some changes but you would continue to disagree.
Stacey say: Honestly tho how many Women beat up their husbands? how unlikely is that!!
Stacey doesn’t realize that men aren’t generally brought up to hit women and many can’t bring them selves to, even when being attacked and they should defend, they just can’t and they become the victim.
Personally i wish the most aggressive cancer and painful death to any man or woman who attacks their partners physically or emotionally, with words, threat or action (genuinely in defense is different).
All things being equal the program commented on is sexist feminism which does NOTHING for genuine women victims.
It would be at very least fair to have a program showing the other side, male victims or better still show the different sides throughout..
This one sidedness is its own downfall.
There ya go poggy, more vacant words for your understanding if u must.
Dave – “Give male victims as many avenues as women victims have when they are abused and THEN lets see who the bullies of society are nowadays.”
You are more than welcome to them, my dear. Check out http://www.mapofgaps.org and you’ll see that there are too few facilities and services for women who have been the victims of gender based violence.
You assume that the issues surrounding DV are gender-biased in favour of women. This isn’t the case. Maybe women are seen to be campaigning more often about their needs and their situations… maybe we insist on having our voices heard. That doesn’t mean we have it better than you.
I think the point is that ANYONE, any human on Earth should not be abused in any way.. No one has the right to abuse, verbally, mentally or physically.. Man, woman or child, or animals come to think of it.
I watched Danielle’s documentary with interest. I recognised the danger signs in an ex boyfriend of mine. I never thought that I would have fallen for such rubbish from anyone, let alone a supposedly ‘loving’ and charming man, but hey I did! Luckily I got out before any violence started, but it was definitely on the cards..
My subsequent partner saw me as a complete equal and treated me with utmost respect, and how refreshing was that! I couldn’t care less what the pathetic ex is up to now. Hopefully he isn’t abusing anyone else though.
So I hope that someone out there watched that programme, saw the same signs in their partners, and reconsidered their futures accordingly. Man or woman..
I was not a big fan of Danielle Lloyd especially after her treatment of Shilpa Shetty on Big brother. However i sympathise with her this evening, I married the “love of my life”. He then began the slow and cruel torture of Dv over a period of 12 years. I had a baby and only then realsied that it hadnt been my fault…I walked out and NEVER looked back.
The fact that Dv is being given attention is good. Danielle has shown courage and i have seen her in a different light after the show. DV units are scarce and especially for men. But surely the more the “topic” is in the limelight the more kudos the issue will get. More publicity, more help for ALL sexes.
Hi
Have been watching various tv docs on Danielle’s experiences.
It has brought back memories for me.
I was in a violent relationship from the age of 13 to 18 and have buried it deep.
He was my first love and was my world. Looking back he was very controlling and made me feel guilty and responsible for failing to be able to make the relationship work. He came from an extremely wealthy family. The last 2 years of the relationship resulted in beatings and emotional blackmail. We moved away leaving my family and friends thinking that we could have a fresh start together. This didn’t happen. He continued to beat me. A friend noticed my cut lips and black eyes and said that I had to get away and that she had a place I could go to. I got away from him. He found me again. I let him in. He threatened the people around me that cared about me. My mother, who had visited me, phoned me after her visit, tearfully said that she had seen the bruises on my body. I wasn’t aware of the bruises, but looking back, they were there. In ‘hindsight’ this hurts. My mother went through extreme violence from my father, which I witnessed as a young child, she got away from this and brought me and my siblings up on her own.
This and my friends being continued to be let down by me letting him back into my life made me make the break. I moved to London and contacted him no longer. I didn’t look back and felt I had to be strong. I went through homelessness briefly and got back to my ‘old’ self. Had fun and made good friends. I had one brief ‘blip’ and called him. He wanted to know where I was and said be would come and get me and all would be all right. I put the phone down and know that I had made the right decision.
I am now 40 and still think about him. Makes me sad. I have 2 children and I am now divorced from a different relationship.
I am a positive person and always look forward.
I have made peace with my father who I know regrets acting the way he did when we were children.
There is nothing to gain from being controlling or violent.
I hope Danielle’s quest really reaches the younger generation and makes them think that there is life beyond and to go out and get it as Danille herself has.
Many thanks
Lynsay
It is a fact that the majority of abuse victims are women this is backed up by figures from the home office. Where there are children in the relationship it also has a lasting effect on them. We surely all have a righ to live a life in safety and even more so within our own homes? Suffering from domestic abuse takes this right away. DV knows no boundry.
There are many areas of abuse that most people do not even think about such as animals caught up in the abuse and even abused themselves. It really is a massive subject so anything that can raise awareness of DV must be a good thing.
Just want to say that I didnt even really know who Danielle was before watching the documentary. Not into reality tv etc. I was moved. I am not easily moved. She came across as totally honest and not out for herslf but out to confront the issues and hopefully touch on others lives who may be experiencing some of the same issues. DV should be taught as part of the school curriculumn. Young men and women need to know the signs and know what to do if it starts happening to them. I had no idea what abuse was when it started happening to me. For the 15 years after I left my husband I never experienced it again. I knew what the signs were and so in a relationship I was in 15 years later started to see the signs in someone else. I was able to get out…
Hi,
Apart from the Suranne Jones ‘Forgiven’ programme, I think Danielles programme was the best viewing on TV this year. I know nothing about D, never read the papers, can’t abide reality gossip but admire in bundles the courage that she must have taken, first to consider such a programme and then having the courage to go through with it.
Today, I’ve been thinking about it, and reading the comments above, the programme, has not surprisingly, caused a great of emotion. Some of the comments above ouse anger and others judgement.
For me, it made me relaise that I have been in abusive relationships for too long. My first patner not only spat at me, kicked me, punched me, throw things at me including a Dartington decanter but also forever told our group of friends that I was the problem and that I needed threatment.
I managed to walk away and met the love of my life, who later wouldn’t even let me leave a room unless I explained why I was moving. Later, with the first punch, I was told to leave the family home.
Thankfully, with the grave of God, the courts gave me custody of my three children, all from the relationship with my first partner.
All my so called ‘friends’ from the first relationship branded me an outcast. Living in the same environment/town/city, most were then pleased for me with my second partner. When that fell apart, the same group disowned me.
For years, as the victim, I’ve always felt that it was all my fault. Only last night, for the first time in years, I saw a voice which told me it wasn’t my fault. I’m am OK and have 3 wonderful, well balanced, intelligent, well adjusted, loving, forgiving kids. Each day, I hope that they won’t have to go through the same. I only hope that they will forever forgive me for putting them through very difficult years in which Dv was in front of their eyes
That’s the very short version of my experience of DV. I’d like to find out more about why it occured, how it started, what were the alarm signals which I missed and what I can I do to make sure that it never happens again to anyone else.
If the Beeb or Danielle ever get to see this message, I can only offer my thanks for a wonderful programme
I run a counselling service which is funded, Star Support is a Charity No:(1118717), we offer one to one counselling for Survivors and victims of Domestic Abuse. We have two Accredited counsellors and two qualified counsellors, we also have students that are on a Diploma course who we offer placements to. Star Support is based in the West Midlands. We would love to try and contact Danielle Lloyd, as we are looking for a Patriot from our Charity. I was very moved and could feel the pain she was in at times through the programme. I am a survivor of DV, and my heart is into helping people that are in or have come out of such a traumatic time. I would be more than happy if you to pass my details on to Danielle. Can you help me to get in touch with her?
Kind Regards
Brigida Varley
Manager/Senior Counsellor MBACP (Accred)
hello i am trying to get in contact with danille Lloyd i watched dangerous love and i would really love to speak to her i need help so much please contact me asap
Folks, if you google ‘Danielle Lloyd’, you’ll find her official website
Hi
Abusive love of any type or gender is a problem. I think this discussion has gone down paths following agendas of individual people. I saw nothing in the programme to say all men are tossers and domestic abusers. Just as I saw nothing to suggest that this was only a female problem. What it did was hightlight the mindset, profile and personality of abusers. Possessiveness and control. This was Danielle’s story. It was a story of any human being who has to assert themselves above those who would demean them.
For me after being in this position twice and then am now seeing my daughter in the hands of someone with the same personality, it was heart rending and I am hoping to get my daughter to watch Danielle’s story.
Anyone, male or female , should just listen to the words. If someone who ‘loves; you is seeking to own,possess and control and does this through emotional or physical abuse you must wake up and smell the coffee and get out. Now!
The longer you stay, the longer it will take to recover.
Don’t go on a rant about feminism or gender stereotyping…. that isn’t helping. Just get out, heel and help others to the same.
Take care
xxx