Diamond Geezer: Old School Lies

A new Bentley pulls up outside a Mayfair Gallery, and out of the car steps a well dressed gentleman – Des (David Jason).

Des, disguised as Viscount Fitzdarby, is attending an exhibition of rare and expensive African gems when he is introduced to Professor Akanni Osabeki – Head of Art and Antiquities at Ogoja University. Taking the professor to one side, Des breaks out of his disguise and confronts him. The Professor - Hector (Don Warrington), breaking into a Geordie accent, recognises Des and it’s clear the pair are old acquaintances. Hector tells Des that the gems aren’t worth stealing as they are all fakes – made in Peterborough. In actual fact, Hector is looking for work and asks Des if he has a job for him.

Later, Des learns of the funeral of old friend Bobby (Christopher Fairbank). He attends the wake to pay his respects and meets up with Barry, Bobby’s brother and Violet (Edna Dore), his mum. Violet is heartbroken over the death of her son, as Bobby was the only good boy in her family – no thieving for him, unlike his father. However, it was a heart attack that eventually killed Bobby, which Violet believes happened too soon.

As Violet sits crying, Barry takes Des for a walk by the river and talks about Bobby. It was stress that killed Bobby, after thirty years of pension contributions his Company went into liquidation and Bobby’s pension fund disappeared. Barry believes that City Financial firm Leyfield-Clark stole Bobby’s pension fund and he wants Des to steal it back. As Des offered to do anything to ease the pain, Barry makes it clear that this is the only money his mum will accept as help. Will Des be able to follow the paper trail and steal Bobby’s pension fund for Violet?

Back in his hotel room, Des researches Leyfield-Clark and it’s owner Jeremy Leyfield (Simon Williams). Later, disguised as a photocopy repairman, Des manages to get inside the offices of Leyfield-Clark and find out some more information.

The following day, Des calls upon teenager Darren (Danny Worters). Although tagged and housebound, Darren is helpful to Des, as he has an expansive knowledge of computers. Des asks Darren to use his skills to develop a working website and full accounts for a fictitious Company. After settling up with Darren, Des visits Hector. He now has some work to offer him. Des needs Hector for his next disguise – as a driver for Winston Earnshaw, the fictitious owner of Earnshaw’s Umbrellas.

Leyfield has a meeting with Winston Earnshaw, and unaware he is Des in disguise, offers him a deal as he prepares to liquidate his company. Is this the same way that Barry lost his pension fund?

On his way out, Des is invited by Leyfield to attend a shooting weekend at his estate on the Yorkshire Moors.

Later, as Des and Hector visit Silverman (David Verrey), who has worked with and been stung by Leyfield, it seems the deal isn’t as rewarding as he claims. The only person that seems to profit is Leyfield. The information Silverman gives Des means that he can’t do this job alone and needs to assemble a team.

Once he’s rounded up his team of experts from “The Muscle” to a Chef, Des and his gang prepare for the shooting weekend. After assessing the security systems in place and where the money will be, they are all ready to go.

The next morning, disguised as government inspectors, Des’ team persuade the caterers that the shoot is cancelled due to an outbreak of bird flu. As soon as the real caterers leave, Des transforms into Winston Earnshaw, while the others take off their overalls to reveal catering uniforms. The van, which once displayed official ministry signs, now bears catering logos as they drive away. What could Des and his crew be planning?

That night, Des and his cohorts meet up to discuss their plan. Rather than using force, this job will need skill and stealth. Together the team work on stealing the money and not getting caught in the middle of the moors with no escape. Each team member has their own specific skill and job. However as the weekend progresses, will an accident lead to tragic consequences?

ITV1 Network Monday 23 April 9:00 PM to 10:30 PM

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