Well, the folks down in Walford have been having a tempestuous week, as always, and it’s all about to get worse. There are a lot of plotlines that are up in the air right now, so fingers crossed, we’ll soon get some answers. For instance, just what is Jane up to? Are we ever going to see newly orphaned Jay again and will baby Oscar ever come down from upstairs? Perhaps he’ll do a Tracy-luv from Corrie and go up to his room only to reappear when he’s fifteen years old and a whole new person.

So let’s start with Jane, who’s been very surreptitiously meeting a ‘someone’ – we’re being led to think it’s a man – and has solicited the help of her brother Christian to dupe dopey Ian into believing she’s going to exercise classes ‘dahn the community ‘all’. Ian mentioned to Callum – the tutor of the class – that Jane was supposed to have been at the last session and in a display of extraordinarily poor lying skills, Callum tried to cover up that Jane hadn’t been there. He did such a bad job of it, Ian’s now very suspicious but thanks to airhead Bianca, he’s got other things on his mind…

The ginger whinger, has been looking for ways to raise £500 to throw a party for her soon to be free jailbird fella Tony. He’s done his time and is on his way to Walford this week for what it seems are some pretty controversial storylines regarding the sexual abuse of Whitney. However, in the meantime, hoping to blackmail Ian into giving her the money, Bianca put a big dollop of margarine on the floor, intending to ‘accidentally’ slip on it and threaten Ian with a claim for compo if he didn’t hand over the £500. Given that it’s Bianca – who if it wasn’t for bad luck wouldn’t have any luck at all – it all went Pete Tong. It was in fact Ian himself who ended up going flying on the marg… cue ambulance and a worried Jane vowing to ‘go wiv ya’ to a furious Ian.

Meantime, poor newly bereaved Dawn veritably threw herself at Garry, only to be humiliated when he threw her right back. Poor Gal had the best of intentions though; he just didn’t want to take advantage of her current emotional state, but he’s now got visions of a future where he and Dawn live happily ever after. However, Dawn was last seen loading baby Summer and a couple of bags into a taxi, so is this the last we’ll see of Dawn? Is it also the last we’ll see of Jay who was there one minute then whisked off into care the next?

Tanya and Jack meanwhile have been trying to play happy families, blissfully unaware that Max is plotting Jack’s downfall with revelations about his shady past. He’s enlisted ‘ard man Phil to exact revenge on Jack and he won’t be happy until he’s got Tanya and the girls – and a conspicuously quiet Oscar – back. Speaking of whom, rumour has it that baby Oscar, played by Gabriel Miller Williams, has been axed from the show because his £300 a day taxi fare from his home in Essex was considered an excessive expense.

A BBC spokeswoman said, “It is not unusual for babies to be recast several times in continuing drama series such as EastEnders. In this instance the decision to recast at this time was in part due to Gabriel’s travelling costs.”

This goes some way to explaining why he’s the quietest, longest-sleeping baby in the world doesn’t it? I have to say, I agree with the decision entirely. License payers are entitled to see that their money is wisely spent and given that there are surely babies much closer to hand who can live upstairs forever, why pay £300 a day to get them there?

Anyway, back to the storylines and we’ve also had proof this week that Stacey isn’t the reformed character we all thought she was. She was snogging the face off Callum during Bradley’s 21st birthday party but she immediately regretted it and told Callum that it was a never to be repeated mistake. But we know Stacey don’t we, and no matter how hard she tries to deny it, the lure of a new pair of trousers is bound to prove too tempting for the Square’s siren.

Coming up this week on Eastenders

Ian’s laid up at home with a broken leg so, naturally, he takes to spying on the Square with a pair on binoculars, but he’s not quite prepared for what he sees. As he’s curtain twitching, he witnesses Max and Phil having a shady meeting and to his horror, he sees they have a gun. Ian then tells Lucy what he’s seen and far from being shocked or scared, Lucy thinks it all very amusing and goes to tell Lauren all about it. Lauren then relays the information to her dad Max, who tells Phil and both them hot-foot it over to threaten wimpy Ian.

At the Queen Vic, Bianca’s got everyone gathered for Tony’s homecoming party but much to her dismay, he’s over two hours late. Poor old Rickay seizes the moment to tell Bianca that he still loves her but lo and behold, Tony arrives in the knickers of time and Ricky must remain silent about his feelings.

Tony soon starts to exert a worrying influence over Whitney who drops out of a school play because he tells her he’s worried they won’t be able to spend any time together if she’s rehearsing.

Callum’s still in hot pursuit of Stacey this week but she tells him to back off as she and Bradley are trying for a baby and she doesn’t need him ruining things. In an attempt to make Stacey jealous, Callum yet again makes a move on nice-but-dim Danielle, who is delighted that he’s taken an interest in her again. He needs to watch his step though because Mo’s got her beady eye on him and won’t stand for him hurting Danielle.

Elsewhere, Max goes to Jack with the gun and handily for Max’s shady scheme, Jack grabs it from him – neatly placing his fingerprints all over it – and orders Max to hand the gun in to police. Needless to say, that’s not what Max has planned for it at all. Off he goes to have a heart to swining-brick talk with Tanya and implores her to ask Jack how he got to be wealthy and what really happened to his crippled daughter Penny. Tanya’s got other worries too as it seems Abi is being bullied at school.

Back at the Vic, in an attempt to keep up with the Joneses, or more precisely, Pat, Peggy has arranged a family photo but is furious when Ronnie refuses to be in the picture if Archie’s in it. Roxy and the gorgeous Sean announce the sex of their baby and Billy waits anxiously to see if Honey will turn up with the kids for the family photo.

Poor Billy, he’s such a loser isn’t he?!