Ellie Goulding is set to appear in the January 2014 edition of Cosmopolitan magazine which is due out on the 6th of December (this Friday).
The singer-songwriter opened up to the magazine about the time she needed therapy following a panic attack and she also spoke about her close friend Taylor Swift.
The ‘Burn’ star revealed that bad relationships convinced the beauty that she had a big nose and that she was fat and this let her to requiring therapy and drugs to cope from a panic attack.
The panic attack was so bad that the ‘Starry Eyed’ star believed she was going to die.
Speaking to Cosmopolitan she said: “One day after a shoot I was on a train going to a funeral and my heart was pounding; I thought I was having a heart attack,”
“When I got to Cardiff, the next train was cancelled, so I had to get in a cab with strangers to Hereford. I was so scared I reached over to this woman and said, “I think I’m dying.” I called a friend to take me to hospital, where they told me it was just a panic attack.”
“From that day, I kept having them. It was the weirdest time of my life. Sick, horrible things would go through my mind but I didn’t want to draw attention to myself… It got to the point when I couldn’t even get into the car and go to the studio.”
When the singer was five her father walked out and she said that in therapy her past haunted her: “I went to see an amazing woman to have CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy), and she flushed everything out. It took a lot of going back to my childhood.”
“With the help of things like Diazepam in small doses to relax me at certain times, the attacks slowly stopped and now I’m through it.”
The beauty who recently scored her first UK Number 1 single admitted that her insecurities and demons try to drag her down quite regularly:
“I’d convinced myself I was fat; I didn’t like my figure and I had a big nose. I’m not a supermodel – I drink and smoke (which I’m not proud of) and do normal things.”
Ellie Goulding also spoke to the magazine about other musicians that she is fairly close with and said: “There are several girls I’m really close to and we are mental. Rita [Ora] I adore. She’s got a really good outlook on life – she’s really positive, hard- working and funny. Cara [Delevingne] and I have so much fun; we relate to each other.”
She continued: “Me and Taylor [Swift] are similar in that we write about relationships, and we joke about that. We text and sometimes I only have to say one thing, and even if it’s cryptic she gets it. She’s an inspiration to me because she reinstated how honest you can be about a boy in your music.”
You can read the full interview with Ellie Goulding in the January 2014 edition of Cosmopolitan magazine when it’s released on the 6th of December. It will also be available in digital form.