Tonight on BBC One’s Friday Night With Jonathan Ross, Desperate Housewives star, sporting her new haircut, Eva Longoria Parker says she loves being a wife.

“We’re still in the honeymoon phase, I love him – but I don’t fart in front of him! I save it for myself. You have to keep the mystery.

“He’s (Tony) very worldly. He wooed me romantically, he still does, he’s been planning my birthday for five months. He’s a perfect gift-giver, for Christmas he got me diamonds and high heels, my two favourite things.”

Eva talks about how she’s put on weight: “I’ve been on holiday for three months, because of the writers’ strike. I’m in heaven! I’ve gained ten pounds, I pig out on pizza.”

And she was an ugly duckling when young: “My three sisters were mean to me because they were blonde and I had dark hair. They told me I was adopted, they found me in the trash, I look like nobody in my family, I didn’t blossom until college.”

And she’s a tomboy at heart, and a crack shot with a gun: “I grew up on a ranch, my dad was a hunter. I’m tough, my dad would take us out on hikes for days at a time, all we took was water … when I made The Sentinel with Michael Douglas and Kiefer Sutherland we had to do a shooting course. Michael was terrible, Kiefer was ok, I was dead on.”

Stand-up star Alan Carr talks about hosting his new show Celebrity Ding Dong and some of his celebrity guests including Leslie Phillips who provides the voice and who, when he was shown the programme, said “what kind of s**t is this?!”

The line-up also includes Jeff Goldblum, with music from Mary J Blige performing new single Just Fine live in the studio.