Monday 30 July 2007 10:00pm - 10:30pm on ITV1.
Most people see teen mums as a social problem and assume women in their twenties and thirties make better parents.
But is society being too hard on teenagers? Bringing a child into the world and looking after it well is unbelievably demanding and a difficult life change, so just imagine if this happens when you are struggling to make ends meet, naïve and little more than a child yourself.
With some help, support and guidance can a group of teenagers prove they can be good mothers too?
ITV’s Help I’m a Teen Mum takes six teenage girls and their babies to a specially converted country house where they are taught parenting skills by expert nannies and a psychotherapist. The series gives them the chance to change their lives and the lives of their children and prove they can be better parents.
The girls are observed as they carry out their daily routine with their children, and are advised on where they are going wrong and the psychotherapist works with them to raise their self-esteem and build confidence.
In the first episode nanny Suzie Whytock and psychotherapist Rachel Morris welcome the girls to the house – and discover that some of them are going to be a challenge.
29 Comments »
I was absolutely disgusted by the attitudes of some of the girls on this show.
Thirteen years ago I was a teen mum (pregnant at 18, gave birth at 19).
I was working full time up until a few weeks before my baby was born prematurely, then when babe was 5 months old my partner and I split up, yet I still managed to cope.
I went back to work full-time, then started a BTEC childcare course in college AND worked TWO 12 hour shifts at the weekend (6am-6pm Saturday & Sunday).
When I had the baby I could have sat on my bum and lived on Social Security benefits, but I decided to accept my responsibilities and to support myself and my child.
My Mum was very supportive and helped as much as possible, although she also was working full-time, and although we were not together, baby’s Dad visited him every day for a few hours a day every Monday to Thursday.
Baby’s Dad and I reunited when our son was 15 months old, but to safeguard both myself and my child he did not move back into our house for another 6 months.
I continued college and have worked full-time ever since.
I married my partner when our son was 4, and we now have 3 more children.
I feel the laid-back attitude of the afore-mentioned youngsters should not be addressed with kid gloves, but with stark reality as up until now they’ve had it too easy. They obviously felt mature enough to have unprotected sex and risk getting pregnant, therefore they should be mature enough to accept the responsibilties for their actions.
Society is not there to pick up the pieces of these irresponsible little ‘madams’, they should get a reality check.
Having read your comment I must say I was a little shocked that you took the editing of the show last night at face value. Having been present for the filming of this show I know that some of the clips shown yesterday were after the nannies had spent a whole 10 days telling the girls how they should do things and disrupting what were otherwise very good relationships. Ashleigh and Tyler were portrayed as ‘not having bonded’ yet the nanny said to me that Tyler was the happiest baby she has ever had the pleasure to work with, yet none of that was shown, although I am sure it will be towards the end of the series so that ITV can suggest that they have created the changes in the relationships. They managed to find some of the only shots of Tyler crying. It was also not mentioned that Zoe suffers from Aspergers syndrome but the programme were not qualified or capable of dealing with her and her daughter and so she left early. She was portrayed last night as one of your so called little ‘madams’. Also I am saddened that someone who has been in a position of being a teen mum can be so judgemental. These girls are too young to work, except for Ashleigh who is 17, and are mostly still at home with their parents so are not ’scrounging’ off the state. They are still being cared for by their own parents. Hopefully the editors will portray them in a better light… one that you might approve more of … in the rest of the series.
I was disgusted when i watched ‘help im a teen mum’ i my self am a teen mum. I fell pregnant at 16 and had my daughter when i was 17 she is now a hapy 10 months old and fantastic. I was surprised that nobody stopped the mother of courtney feeding her little girl chocolate and biscuits especially for BREAKFAST!!!. I think that there attitude towards having a baby was a walk in the park and when they realised that it wasnt the still didnt try harder they just sat back and let there parents do all the running arround or things just didnt get done.
I was lucky enough to be given a house of the local authoroty, and am lucky enough to be re-starting college this september. What is stopping these girls from doing the same.????
The main thing that has really upset me is the fact that because I myself am a young mother and I get tied with the same brush as those girls on the programme, I am far from it. People look at me and expect me to be the same and let someone else bring up my child when in acctual fact my partner and I do it all the way its soppost to be.
I also found the fact that one of the ‘mothers’could not be botherd to change her daughters nappy and also stated that she should of done it an hour ago!! To me that isnt being too tired that is just damm rite lazyness!
The girls need to live in the real world and take care of there responsibilities there self otherwize no have children at all!
I too was disgusted at this programme - mostly at the attitude of the “nanny”. If someone spoke to me like that at my current age of 39, I think I’d revert to being a sulky teenager! Her attitude was entirely negative, and yes these girls needed help, but couched in those terms, they are never going to accept it.
There were issues that needed addressing, but I can guarantee that they are not restricted to teenage mothers. There are mothers in their 20s and 30s that feed their children bad diets and don’t put them to bed at 7:00pm, but it was lovely to see Courtney’s mum being so loving towards her. She has the makings of an excellent mother, although like all of us, there’s room for improvement.
I do find it sad though that a number were pregnant for a second time. I had twins at 15 and I was entirely focused on giving them the best life that I could manage. I knew this meant that my focus couldn’t be diluted by other children until things were stable. There were times we were reliant on the state - we needed the help. Did I come across as an “irresponsible little madam”? Oh I expect so! I knew that I was contributing to society by bringing up the next generation and would contribute myself when I was older. I got pretty irritated by the attitude of “society” that I had now proved myself worthless and my children equally so.
I now work full-time as a manager in a blue-chip company, with a BSc and an MSc. My daughters have also graduated - one with a BSc, the other with a BA. If I had internalised the sneering attitude that I had “ruined my life”, this wouldn’t have happened. Fortunately, I was the rebellious, awkward sort that was determined to prove everyone wrong - the type that gets into trouble, but is capable of getting out of it too. These girls need help, support and frankly respect. Abortions are easily available - they’ve positively chosen a less easy route - maybe not with their eyes totally open, but then how many first-time parents know what they are letting themselves in for? Precisely none! I bet any of the girls would lay their lives down for their children. They just need to be shown the most productive way to do their best for them, and they might just surprise everyone. A little less sneering would be a good start.
I agree with all the comments.
I am 17 years old and have a son of 7 months. After watching this program I felt so angry that these people were what Britain will see, YET AGAIN, and think all of us are like that.
I was shocked to see one of the girls pregnant and smoking, I had 1 cigerette during the 9 months- but not only that- Smoking in front of her son!!! Also, the girl who was feeding her daughter junk!!
Im sorry, but even thinking about this again is making me furious… Why cant TV EVER show teen parent positivly?!!?
I too would like to express my thoughts on the series ‘Help Im a Teen Mum’.
Firstly I would like to say that I am a ‘teen mum’. I gave birth two months before my eighteenth birthday to a very happy and intelligent little boy. I am now twenty years old and my son will soon be three years old. I live with my partner, who is also my son’s daddy. He works 65 hours a week and I am a full time student studying towards a degree in early years education. We pay our own way and work damm hard to support ourselves.
I am disgusted that ITV, along with other broadcasting companies, continue to give ‘teen mum’s’ bad press. It is absolutely ludacris. I am sure that there are many mum’s out there who do not treat their children as first priority and with the respect they deserve and I am positive that these mum’s are not just restricted to ‘teen mum’s’. I am a brilliant mum and my son’s daddy is amazing too, it is not acceptable for this type of programming to continue.
‘Teen mum’s’ are looked at as bottom of the barrell by society and programmes such as this do not help the situation. I know this all too well. I am sick and fed up of people looking down their noses at me…I am well dressed, presentable, my son is always clean and has everything he wants and needs (without being spoilt I might add), there is no reason why people should look down their nose at me, the only reason the do is because I am a younger mum than most.
Society need to begin to understand that they should not judge all ‘teen mum’s’ just by a handfull of low life’s broadcasters choose to parade about on TV just because it will make good viewing rates.
I would like to say how angry i am at ITV1 for even accepting to have such a programme shown on television and for any other channels to show programmes of teenage parenthood. “Help I’m A Teenage Mum!” is such a negative title for a programme which automatically gives off the message to the public that ALL teenage parents are irresponsible and couldnt care less about their baby. Thousands of teenage girls give birth 2 babies each year and the tiny percentage that seem to be irresponsible are the ones that are broadcasted and shown on television, making the public look down on teens that have children. Television never broadcasts the rest of us. The ones that love and care for our babies more than anything, the bigger percentage of teenage parents. We are just as capable of bringing a baby up as a middle-ages women is.
I was shocked and disappointed watching ‘Help I’m a Teen Mum’ last night. I work with Teenage parents and we work towards positive sterotypes and building up self esteem.
Yes teenage mums do need help and support, however showing a programme like this just re-enforces all of the negativity that society has for these girls. I would love ITV to come and visit our project and see what a positive relationship these girls have with their children and shows how they are working towards creating a better life for themselves and their children.
Again we are tarring all young people with the same brush.
As head of a charity employing teenage parents to deliver a programme in school presenting the realities of pregnancy and parenting, I have worked a great many young parents from different walks of life around the UK and abroad. Almost all of these teenagers became parents through a lack of self confidence and low sense of achievement; something which is borne out by Government backed research. ITV is utterly irresponsible in its approach to this subject, portraying teenage parents as worthless individuals who are weighing society down. This ‘nanny’ seems to have no understanding of the needs of young parents and I find her methods (calling a young parent ‘pathetic’ in particular) unforgivable. Why should these young girls have to get up at such an early time? I don’t remember seeing a single child suffer from a lie in in the morning. It seems that this is her biggest criticism of their parenting. I realise that good parenting does not make ‘good entertainment’ but showing teenage parents (who are no worse and sometimes better parents than some older parents I have met)in such a bad light is going to impact on these young people for the rest of their lives. They need encouragement not criticism and this nanny’s ignorance would make any parent angry. Young parents need respect not ITV’s Daily Mail type reality TV. I wish all the above teenage parents who have achieved my hearty congratulations but advise against such a smug reaction. We all react differently to adversity. I’d also like to know whether the fathers are not responsible also? Let’s see some programmes about their problems with coming to terms with their situation and how these girls are left literally holding the baby with so much more criticism than the fathers. Well done to every teenage parent. You may have made a mistake as far as society is concerned but you are facing adversity with more courage than I could muster.
Can i just say that although the program did little but reinforce negative attitudes to teenage mothers i felt that the blow was softened considerably by the high quality and professionalism of the narrator. I for one would like to hear more of this kind of premier league voice work in the schedules in future. Well done ITV!
I had to comment on this. I have known Zoe since she was born and have watched her grow up struggling to cope in a world she didn’t understand and one that certainly did not understand her. When she was finally diagnosed with Aspergers it was a mixture of relief that at last there was a reason for the way she dealt with life but also fear as what did life hold for her now ? 3 years ago I sat in a police station with her as she was arrested and then had to do the hardest thing I have ever had to do and walk away from and see her go to live in care for the next 6 months. 18 months ago I was priviliged to be at the birth of Courtnee one of the most moving moments of my life. Not just witnessing a beautiful baby coming into this world but seeing Zoe become a mother. In the past 18 months I have watched Zoe grow from a child herself into a loving devoted and capable mum. Nothing comes before Courtnee and her whole life revolves around her daughter. What ITV have shown is a gross distortion. They failed to show her spending 30 minutes trying to find someone who knew how to work a microwave choosing only to show her finally giving up because her daughter was hungry and giving her biscuits. ( By the way as a not teenage mum of 3 I will readily admit to breakfast occassionaly being biscuits or some other unhealthy substitute ) If ITV had chosen to show the whole picture instead of such negativity then we could all learn something from Zoe not least that young women with a disability can become mothers and can be excellent mothers. I’m proud to know Zoe and proud to call her my friend and I would ask all of you viewing to remember that this a show about the nannies not the young mums and think how well you would come off if a camera crew filmed you for a week and then cut and edited you beyond all recognition !!! In the words of Zoe F**K THEM !!!!!!
I AM A TEEN MUM AND I NERVER WANTED MY LITTLE BOY TYLER BUT MY MUM BEGGED ME TO KEEP HIM AND NOW HE IS TWO. YES I AM A SINGLE MOTHER BUT I GET ON WITH IT.I JUST LEFT SCHOOL WHEN I FELL PREGNANT AT 16 HAD HIM AT 17 AND I EVEN WENT THROUGH BABY BLUES AND I HAD IT BAD BUT I PULLED THROUGH IT. NOW I WORK FULLTIME AS A RECEPTIONIST AND MY BOY AND ME ARE SO HAPPY TOGETHER I AM IN THE MIDDLE OF BUYING A HOUSE FOR ME AND HIM AND I AM DOING IT ALL BY MYSELF I AM PROUD TO BE A TEEN MOTHER.
TYLER DOES HAVE ADHD BUT I HAD IT SO I CAN RELATE TO HIM WE DO SO MUCH TOGETHER ON MY DAYS OFF AND WEEKENDS.
IF MY MUM NERVER HELPED ME AND TOLD ME TO FIX UP I WOULD HAVE LOST TYLER AS ALL SOCIAL SERVICES WANT TO DO IS TAKE THE BABY WITH OUT ANY QUESTIONS JUST BECAUSE YOU’RE A YOUNG MOTHER.
THERE SHOULD BE MORE HELP OUT THERE FOR TEEN MOTHERS. BECAUSE I KNOWN THAT THE FRIST 6 WEEKS IS THE HARDEST BUT DO NOT STOP HELPING AFTER THAT BE THERE FOR THEM.
PEOPLE SHOULD HELP THESE TEEN MUMS FIRST BEFORE PUTTING THEM IN A CATEGORIES AND ON TV TO MAKE THEM LOOK LIKE FOOLS THERE IS MUCH MORE TO THE MUMS THEN JUST PUTTING THEM IN A HOUSE WITH 6 DIFFERENT MOTHERS EVERY MOTHER HAS THERE OWN WAY OF BRING UP THERE BABIES.
I would just like to say I agree that society does tarnish everyone with the same brush. You do have to ask though if the programme was called looking after your baby do you think there would be as many viewers? I do agree that they shouldn’t make out that it’s only people under 21, who treat their children in such as a way, as we all know thats not true. When I was watching the programme I was alarmed at how some of the mothers behaved. I know there is editing in volved but they didn’t force her to smoke nor force zoes child to have biscuits for breakfast.I understand Zoe may not have been able to work the microwave but it’s still not acceptable. Aside from all that I do believe that we will learn from this programme a great deal once we put that aside. I’m 20 and 14weeks pregnant with my first child after two miscarriage.I have the support of my partner and his family but no family of my own.I do beleive that this information should be readily available to all. I would never have thought at bath time if my baby didn’t like it to place them in a chair and to cover them as shown. I’m looking forward to next weeks programme
i think the way the programme is cut, organised and presented is disgraceful. the very first thing i noticed about the programe was how the nannies have arranged a programme to suit them no the teens and their childrens life style. im 17 and a mum and if i was on that programme i would go crazy if they woke me up at 6 in the morning and tried to put my daughter into a new routine. having a baby from birth allows you to get into your own routine. and im sure older parents would react the same way if someone tried to put their child into a new routine. plus the nannies talk to the mum’s asthough there children
Specialists working on this programme hey? well sorry but | for one minute believe that one! if specialists were involved they would have some one there to support Zoe not communicate in a way that confuses someone with Asperger even more than life already does! ITV should be ashamed of how they have portrayed Zoe and i should like to add Zoe has Asperger she is NOT a sufferer of Asperger!!!!!! Asperger carries many positive attributes and when supported in an understanding and positive way it becomes clear that actually the someone with Asperger makes more sense of the world than someone who is neuro typical ( in laymens terms that means people without Asperger! see how confusing it is when language used is not clear ??????, get my point? )
Good luck to Zoe in the future and all those that are close to her including her lovely daughter and her very supportive mother
to what are they doing ?
your comments are spot on and it is soooooooo lovely to hear someone else voicing the opinions that zoe’s mum has been shouting at the tv !!!!!!! I am astounded at times at Zoe’s insight to the world and ways in which to solve it and am of the firm opinion that one day she should advise the government !!!! I know her mum is reading these posts and your supportive words will be appreciated by a very special mum and nanny.
I am glad to have been of help and after last nights episode (i watched to see if there was an improvement silly me), I can not believe that Zoe was not supported yet again (other than supported to be confused)
not only are ITV portraying teenage mums in a negative way, but what are they playing at when it comes to the portrayal of people with Asperger ( I should like to point out to the commentator at this point Asperger DOES NOT HAVE A S ON THE END, maybe they should have researched Autism in general before they attempted to supported Zoe and not destroy her self esteem?????? i work with people with ASD every day of my working life and along with many other people attempt to undo the damage that is inflicted upon them every day, SO ITV AND YOUR SO CALLED SPECIALISTS WHERE IS ZOE’S APOLOGY?????????????????????????and come to that Tina’s and Courtnee’s ?
Zoe cannot even work out how to use a microwave?! How old is she five??
Heyaah ..
Im 14 & dying For A Baby I Know I Would Be A Good Mum As I Love Children ..
Watching Help Im A Teen Mum Last Night Made Me Feel Sick Did You See How Courtneys Mum Thru Courtney Down .. ??
I Would Love To Chat To Other Teen Mums Or Teens That Are Tryin For A Baby ..
Reply Or Email Me On ..
Kiirsten_2o07@hotmail.co.uk
XX Lots Of LOve XX
well i see ITV excelled in enticing another teenage mum then hmmmm…..
like i said communication and appropriate communication to meet the needs of ASPERGER (sorry maybe i am being erm shall we say thick in hoping that some people may know what it is)
i am not saying Zoe was correct in the way she handled her daughter in last nights veiwing how ever i should like to say is every parent out there innocent of NOT roughly handling their child at some time when frustration has occured?
one other question i would like to ask is…… does everyone that has left a message on this board believe that the nannys are wonderfull in this programme?????? lets just say i would not want to of left any of my daughters in their care when they were young… come to that isnt that what has happened here anyway teenagers have been left in the care of nannys….. and one teenager who has added issues that ITV CLEARLY DID NOT DO THEIR RESEARCH ON before attempting to support them with parenting!
Hi,
I’m watching although its cringeworthy. Im 18 and a mother to a 13 month old. Im nothing like any of the girls on there. I just wish they’d do a show showing good teenage mums, id apply for that to prove society wrong!
You know whats scaring me ive been on lots of site recently looking for comments on this show and thers lots of 13/14 years olds saying they want a baby and know they’d be a good mum becausethey love kids or look after younger siblings! Seriously i don’t get it.
Babysitting is nothing like having your own child, lots of people love kids, that doesnt mean you need to have one, babysit more or get a job when you leave school working in a nursery! For goodness sake don’t have a child.
wow thats just what ITV said they were doing a programme about. Showing teenage mums in a positive light and building on their skills by helping them with budgeting and activities for their children. Oops sorry forgot that this is ITV we are talking about and somehow giving them a positive experience really means showing all the juicy bits that will make people say ‘oh how shocking’ and ‘teenagers can’t possibly be good mums’. I totally agree that what has been shown looks like mums not coping but be honest would you really watch 30 minutes of mums playing happily with thier babies or sitting and comforting them because they are teething? As mums we all had to learn and I for one think that everyone single one of these young women shown are doing a fantastic job with their children and are proving to themselves that they are great mummys.
just found the advert that was run recruiting staff for the programme. Funnily enough no mention here of the teenagers being the worst in the uk or not coping and needing help !!!!!!!!!!!!!
ITV are making a documentary series taking a group of Teenage Mothers for two weeks around 16th April and help them get into better routines and become more responsible, confident parents.
Makes you wonder doesn’t it ?
sure made me think…….. what a load of cobblers it what it has made me think!!!!!!!!!!!! thats as in what a load of old cobblers itv are
hey just thought maybe ITV should run a documetary about the right way to make a documentary any volunteers to do the editing and filming???????????
hi i am 19 and had my little boy when i was 16.He has just turned 3 is beautiful,well manured,intelligent and healthy.I hate people thinking teen mums carnt look after there children and that we have all just made a big mistake.I am woundering if anyone can help me i am wanting to start work have no qualifications but would love to work in childcare is it possible to work with a nursery and go colledge and if so how do you go about this thanks!
ITV said they were doing this in a positive light?!
Never trust the media aye?
What me, my mum and my baby’s dad couldn’t understand was-
Why didn’t Zoe use the hob to heat the milk for wheatabix?
We dont have a microwave and I do it every morning!!!
FAIR COMMENT ABOUT THE MILK FOR THE WEETABIX. WHAT ITV FAILED TO MENTION IS THAT ALL THE APPLIANCES IN THE KITCHEN WERE INDUSTRIAL CATERING MACHINES (INCLUDING THE HOB) COURTNEE ALSO HAS A MILK INTOLERANCE AND HER SPECIAL MILK HAS TO MADE A CERTAIN WAY. DUE TO ZOE’S ASPERGER SHE COPES WHEN SHE HAS A ROUTINE AND HER DAILY ROUTINE INVOLVES USING A MICROWAVE AND DOING THINGS IN A SET ORDER.I WOULD JUST LIKE TO ADD THAT ZOE SPENT 30 MINS SEEKING HELP FROM THE NANNIES (WHO WERE HAVING A LIE DOWN AS THEY HAD BEEN UP IN THE NIGHT WITH THE BABIES!!!!!) BEFORE SHE RESORTED TO GIVING HER DAUGHTER BISCUITS. KERRY - POP ALONG TO YOUR LOCAL LIBRARY WHO WILL HAVE INFO ON COLLEGE COURSES AND THEN GET IN TOUCH WITH THEM. THEY MAY HAVE A CRECHE THERE.
i saw it and there was a girl from my school on it!!! i think so anyway. i think teenagers are seen as a problem these days instead of the mostly nice young people they are. newspapers only say bad things!!!
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