How epic would it be if Edna Birch was Cain Dingle’s Emmerdale attacker?!

by Lynn Connolly

The gorgeous Jeff Hordley – who of course plays baddest of bad lads Cain Dingle in Emmerdale – has been telling TV Choice magazine that right before Cain’s viciously beaten by his ‘Judgement Day’ attacker, he’d upset Edna Birch…

Now, how awesome would it be if it was Edna – who’s played by Shirley Stelfox – who batters Cain and leaves him for dead?

Highly unlikely you say?

Well, when EastEnders did their Who’s the Daddy? over Heather Trott’s (Cheryl Fergison) pregnancy, nobody really believed it was Darren Miller (Charlie G Hawkins) but lo, it was.

Jeff made the revelation about Edna while discussing Cain’s Judgement Day plot, saying that right before he’s attacked, “He is really rude to Edna, has a massive argument with Zak (Steve Halliwell) and says he doesn’t care about anything any more.”

Jeff added, “Then he goes into the pub where everyone says to Chas (Lucy Pargeter) not to serve him. So he has a go at everyone in the pub…”

He went on to reveal that the day Cain’s attacked gets off to an ominously bad start when his daughter Debbie (Charley Webb) kicks him out of her house…

He said, “The day starts with Cain being kicked out by his daughter because the night before, she finds out about Amy from Charity (Emma Atkins) and she flips.

“Debbie is mortified by it and tells him, ‘You are off the rails, get out of the house.’

“He says, ’Yeah whatever.’ But he’s obviously very upset that she’s found out about it.”

TV Choice then asked Jeff if he knows who attacks Cain, and he replied that he does now, but didn’t know when he first got the script for the plotline.

He said, “It’s been kept from me for a while. I didn’t know which way it was going to go.

“It’s was for the best because I might have given away a clue by looking at whoever a bit oddly!”

So, let’s assume for a moment it is Edna. How might she attack a big lad like Cain?

Well, she might slap him upside the head with her Tootsie, thus rendering Cain dazed and confused enough for Edna to whip a monkey wrench out of her handbag and give him a beating with that.

Or maybe she’ll creep up behind him and start muttering, prompting Cain to turn to face her, at which time, Edna will knee him in the doolies and then give him a battering with rocks strategically placed inside her ever present hat, like a cosh.

Do you have any suggestions for how Edna might overpower and beat the bejesus out of Cain?

Let us know!

Lynn is an editor and writer here at Unreality TV and is trained psychotherapist and the author of two books. She's addicted to soaps, period drama and reality TV shows such as X Factor, I'm A Celeb and Big Brother.