Ordinarily, I find this show to be as dull as ditchwater, and only tune in occasionally to have a Through The Keyhole nosey at the contestants homes, but last night’s offering was, by any standard, worthy of the word ‘classic’.
Epic might be another description; it was just that good. And why? Because of Kim Woodburn.
She spent the entire episode being wholly inappropriate, and it made for fantastic viewing. She even got as tired and emotional as a newt at Claire Sweeney’s house and inbetween bouts of discussing celeb skidmarks – Kim used to be a cleaner to several stars – she managed to be very insulting to the food on offer too.
And that must’ve been a bitter pill to swallow for the other contestants who comprised the aforementioned Claire Sweeney, Tom O’Connor – who if I’m honest, I thought was dead – and Darren I Can’t Keep It In My Pants Day. Bitter because they all at least tried to make everything from scratch, whereas Kim used primarily packet and tinned foodstuffs when it was her turn to host a gourmet night.
And to be fair, everyone except Kim did put in a lot of effort and seemed to do ok, although Darren it seems didn’t take the plastic covering off his food mixer, therefore one of his dishes was garnished with that covering.
But the foodie aspect was but a mere bagatelle compared to the main feature, which was Kim’s constant poo related narrative, innuendo that would’ve made Frankie Howerd fearful for his job, and criticism.
She was an absolute star turn. I’ve never met Kim in person – but I’d love to – so I’ve no idea if she genuinely is as horrendous a dinner guest as we watched her being last night, or if it’s part of a persona that she’s trying to secure more TV work with, but regardless, she was a non-stop car crash of hilarity.
Without doubt, Kim’s pièce de résistance came when she got very, very drunk, eventually swigging vodka from the bottle, all traces of self-awareness, and camera awareness, gone. She outrageously lusted after Darren Day and her lavatorial talk and uncalled for criticism of everyone else was one of the best TV moments I’ve ever seen.
It’s not yet available on 4oD but it should be there within the next day or two, and if you missed this gem of a show, keep an eye out for it; you won’t regret it.