Last Night’s TV – Heads or Tails

by Lynn Connolly

It’s going to be a nice change to use this forum to disparage a broadcaster other than the BBC for once, for in Five’s Heads or Tails, we have nothing less than abject drivel. Its one redeeming feature is that we don’t fund it out of our licence fee.

Justin Lee Collins hosts the ‘show’ which airs at 6pm on Five, and much as I like JLC, I can’t begin to imagine what possessed him to accept the gig. I can only assume he’s broke.

In case you missed it – and well done if you watched something more intellectual, such as the news or even Tellytubbies – the format goes like this – JLC talks a lot, there are contestants who talk a lot, there are a few ‘celebrities’ lobbed in to coach the contestants, and they talk a lot…

Then a coin is tossed – and the word ‘toss’ has rarely been more apropos when describing a show – and whichever the contestant chose, heads or tails, depends upon whether they win or not.

Clearly, someone at Five decided that a show for morons was needed and told the creative team to come up with something. So I suspect that team were told there should be no questions trickier than, “What’s your name my love?” and nothing complex like hitting a buzzer. And thus, Heads or Tails was born.

The search for a host was possibly then undertaken with the remit that the host must be able to fill the four fifths of the vacuum that would inevitably occur since the lobbing of a coin takes like a millisecond.

A comedian was obviously a must have; yes, other presenters can talk, but we’d lose the will to live – and I did anyway – if there weren’t occasional amusing one-liners chucked in for good measure.

And frankly, the demographic target audience is probably primarily made up of people who can’t spell laugh but like to do it sometimes to break the monotony of studiously colouring in and keeping within the lines.

Lynn is an editor and writer here at Unreality TV and is trained psychotherapist and the author of two books. She's addicted to soaps, period drama and reality TV shows such as X Factor, I'm A Celeb and Big Brother.