Last Night’s TV – MasterChef: The Professionals

by Lynn Connolly

masterchef the professionals

After sitting through one and a half hours of MasterChef, The Professionals, I’d begun to not only lose the will to live but I thought there was a very good possibility I was living in Groundhog Day…

Greg and Michael’s phrases are as worn as Dot Cotton’s mac and are equally as bland now that we’ve heard them sixty gazillion times.

And the trouble with MasterChef – and any number of other similar shows – is that once you’ve described how the judges described something as nutty or bolshy-sweet or said, “Here’s the smokiness coming through”, you’ve been there and done that…

That being the case, I won’t go into menu detail about how Marianne, Steve and Daniel cooked their way through to the end. Suffice to say, Steve won after cooking various dishes for various quasi-celebs and sporty types. And of course a meal that was consumed by thirty of the world’s top chefs, and for ‘top’, in many cases, one could read ‘pretentious’ and/or ‘smarmy’. The end.

In fact, now that the present series of MasterChef has come to an end, isn’t it time it just came to an end, period? How many more series can the BBC squeeze out of a monotonous parade of the same camera angles, the same phraseology, the same faux tension?

And as witnessed last night, we’re now being subjected to the ‘heart warming’ stories of the competitors. I don’t mean to sound cruel and as someone who’s lost both parents, I could of course relate to both Marianne and Steve’s stories about the sadness of losing a father, but should that really have been brought up in what amounts to a cookery competition?

I always feel the same about any show that ‘uses’ someone’s personal tragedy as a good programme filler. And again, any number of shows do it; there’s always someone on X Factor who’s “doing it” for someone deceased. And while it may be admirable to come out of the dark side of bereavement and achieve your ambitions, is it really necessary to try to weight your chance of winning a competition on the strength of it?

Anyway, that niggle aside, I did feel that dragging the finale out as it was last night was not only unnecessary, it was boring. Very. The only high spot for me in all honesty was when a fire alarm went off. At least it broke the monotony…

Shame Michael and Greg missed the opportunity to roll out their standard phrases there really, but if they had, it might’ve gone something like this; “You can just taste the nuttiness of the smoke” or, “human hair is very like that juicy, crisp crackling – simply oozing with a pungent aroma” or perhaps, “Ah, yes, yes, here come the firemen. It’s beefy, it’s got body…”

Personally, I think MasterChef should hang up its apron for good, but more important is what you think? Please do let us know.

Lynn is an editor and writer here at Unreality TV and is trained psychotherapist and the author of two books. She's addicted to soaps, period drama and reality TV shows such as X Factor, I'm A Celeb and Big Brother.