Just when you thought it was safe to turn to ITV2 without seeing Katie Price and her various and nefarious ‘What Katie Did’ activities, it’s back.
This series two opener took up Katie’s ‘fascinating’ story just as she left the I’m A Celeb jungle and got a whisper in her ear – from bff Michelle Heaton – that Alex Reid, bloke du jour, had been “doing stories.”
That, it seems, was a heinous crime, punishable by death and/or public humiliation, and given that murder is still a crime that even giant knockers can’t get you out of, the former option was chosen.
And for a woman who openly professed her undying love for Alex just a few short months later, not to mention married him, there was little evidence of it as she dumped him live on TV during her exit interview with Ant and Dec.
However, in the fickle world of celebrity, nothing’s forever and after judiciously weighing up the pros and cons, Katie Hearts Alex was back on. How fortuitous, given that he was in for a nice little earner via Celebrity Big Brother.
Apropos of Alex, during last night’s fun and Pricey games, we heard him bemoaning how he hates “this celebrity s**t”, so much so, he chose to go on to the aforementioned CBB. But to be fair, I have always felt that Alex is out of his depth with KP…
That he’s ambitious is obvious, but he’s also – if his CBB persona is to be believed – rather naïve and a generally nice bloke who may have actual and real feelings. KP on the other hand has, I believe, absorbed some of the silicone into her soul and it seems to me that nothing she does has value unless it can be given a price tag.
Love, family, work… all are commodities and though I can’t say that I out and out dislike KP, I wouldn’t want her as a mate either.
Anyway, after that gossip filled first sojourn, we moved swiftly on to KP’s first few days back in the UK and watched, bored and losing the will to live as she went to book signings and on shopping trips.
Overall, while it’s not the worst thing on TV – after all, Amanda Holden’s not in it – What Katie Did Next is the equivalent of Teletubbies for grown-ups; full of fake facades and pink fluff.
And did I therefore enjoy it? Reluctantly, very very reluctantly, I kinda did…