Well it’s been a while since Mrs Angry had a good rant so it’s overdue, and there’s plenty to rant about right now, including Saturday night programming, pants storylines, inappropriate use of props and putting good stuff on late…

If aliens landed on a Saturday night and tuned into our TV channels to see what constituted entertainment for us earth dwellers, on the terrestrial channels they’d see we were watching shows like Totally Saturday and the new ITV offering, Anonymous. And then they’d think we were less intelligent than plankton and either decide to take us over or bog off again looking for folks with more than one brain cell.

Just what is it that makes programme makers assume that anyone who’s home on a Saturday night is going to just love slapstick, clichéd practical jokes, what amounts to ritual humiliation and all presented in an oh so tired format?

I watched Anonymous last night and from the get go, it was clear nobody, but nobody could’ve seen Jenny McAlpine’s new faux face and not realised it was in fact a very elaborate mask. The only people who might have believed her face was real were Californians. Louis Walsh’s mask was infinitely better and actually, the segment featuring him in a cab with JLS was very funny, but that was it on the amusement front.

As to Totally Saturday, I’m so glad it’s being axed after this series; despite the gorgeous and very funny Mr Norton being at the wheel, it’s horrendous car crash TV.

But now onto stupid storylines and once again – this isn’t my first rant about it – EastEnders is the biggest culprit at the moment. Having Ian trying to pull off that con last week at the Teeny Weeny contest was just plain sad. But to compound the ludicrous storyline, they had Dotty – what is she, like 8 or something? – smelling a rat and fiddling with the wires and leads so as to ‘out’ Ian and Bobby. Unlikely.

However, one of the most annoying things about all the soaps right now is how the actors handle coffee cups. You know the ones you get to take away? Cardboard with a plastic lid? Well, I don’t know if it’s just me who’s noticed or maybe I’m being overly critical but whenever anyone on the soaps has one of those, it couldn’t be more obvious that it’s empty. I mean, surely the props people could put water in them at least?

In one scene a while ago on EastEnders, when Zainab and Christian were feuding over selling coffee on the street, I felt like we’d tuned into a re-enactment of the Teddy Bear’s picnic. They were chucking the cups around while they were gesturing and pretending to drink from them… it just spoiled the whole scene and made it unbelievable.

It’s as if there’s been some sort of health and safety directive issued saying liquid must not be used in these containers. I’d love for someone in the know to tell me if that’s the case. If it is, then the prop people should try to weight them with plasticine or something.

I know it’s a very minor niggle but we’re supposed to suspend our disbelief for these shows but then they lob in a really naff prop like that on top of already naff storylines and what you have right there is an insult to the intelligence of viewers. Grrrrr!

And now to my final moan; putting Big Brother on late. Now I realise that my being of advancing years and all, it makes the term ‘late at night’ mean anything past 9:30pm. Toddlers stay up later than me, but nonetheless, I find it very irritating that the majority of BB this year is on past 10pm. I’m usually up at around 7am and by 10pm, I’m almost in a coma, but given that I don’t have Sky Plus, I feel behoved to prop my eyelids open to watch BB.

Friday night’s second show didn’t even start until 10.35pm and then went on for an hour! It may take me weeks to recover! I know I could watch it on replay the next morning on Channel 4, but it’s so heavily edited due to the repeat time slot, you don’t actually get to see a whole lot of the original footage at all. I could also wait until it shows up on 4oD but by then, the new episode is airing… it’s annoying in the extreme!

I’m not even over the fact that they’ve cut the live feed yet, but putting the highlights show on later than its historical time slot of 9pm is just inviting a fall in viewing figures. Again, I know I’m an old fart but I also know of younger people who don’t want to be up that late because they have work the next day. So it’s not just a wrinkly moan; it affects people who don’t creak in the winter too.

Ahhhhhhh I feel so much better for that rant! It’s good to let your Mrs Angry out now and again. So feel free to let us know what’s bugging the Angry in you!