Nothing says British culture quite as much as painting red, white and blue stripes over everything that doesn’t move. If you’ve ever taken a drive up Belfast’s Shankill Road, you’ll know exactly what we mean.

That’s why we were shocked (and faintly amused) to see Peter Blake’s ghastly, garish redesign of the iconic Brits statue. While we can’t see it gracing the mantlepieces of the rich and moderately famous, it’s bound to be the must-have projectile at any summertime riots this year.

In all seriousness, the dignified, austere statue looks like its been grafittied by a child with a limited colour palette. We get that if you wanted to translate Britishness, you’d take the colours from the Union flag and plaster them across the formerly gilded statue. However, to our Northern Irish eyes, the statue has all the trashy overtones of the tribalism that’s been (and continues to be) a low point in our history.

Seriously, if you were going to go colourful, why not borrow something from British pop culture? How about the colour palette from The Beatle’s Sgt Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club album? Who designed that masterpiece, I wonder? Sir Peter Blake, that’s who. Frustrating, we know.

Elsewhere, it’s just been announced that Blur will receive the Outstanding Contribution To Music Award at the 2012 Brits. Something to celebrate!

P.S. Send your crayon designs for the 2013 Brits statue to the usual address!