Piers Morgan on… Hollywood – Wannabes, never-will-bes and Brits!

by Lynn Connolly


The last episode of ‘Piers Morgan on…’ last night featured Hollywood where Piers tried to find out how come one in three shows piloted in Hollywood features a British actor; but why do some make it, while others fail dismally?

Well, according to Piers – and almost everyone he interviewed – the overall theme seemed to be that Americans especially admire British ‘straight talking’ and our ‘oddness’ as well as – according to Sharon Osbourne – the Brit’s ability to say something vile to someone but in such a charming way, they have no clue they’re being insulted…

That being the case and if taken literally, it means that anyone who isn’t rude and odd are most likely to fail in LA if their main ‘talent’ is simply being British.


Piers met up with some famous ex-pats in LA and talked to ‘ardman Vinnie Jones about his move to LA and his transformation from footballer to screen hero, for which he primarily plays villainous characters. I have to say, I admire Vinnie a lot; he seems as if he’d be the same guy he is now if he’d have been a docker or a builder instead of a pro-footballer turned actor.

In LA, Vinnie now commands a cool £1million per film. He too reckons that the Yanks love the Brits because of their honest approach.

He told Piers, “It’s so flakey here, you know, ‘Oh, we must have lunch.’ ‘Let’s have lunch then, when? Wednesday, will that do?’ You know they don’t mean it.”

Piers himself reckons that he only got the job on American’s Got Talent because he’s British and outspoken, and Sharon Osbourne is of the same opinion, though for her, she also claims that without the cosmetic surgery she’s had that’s made her look a good twenty years younger than she is, she wouldn’t have been offered the job.

We were then shown around Sharon Osbourne’s palatial LA home which she moved to because she and the family got fed up of the attention from the paparazzi in Hollywood.


Piers also met up with Scary Spice Mel B on the set of her latest project – a fitness video – and she too explained that her down to earth English mannerisms seemed to captivate America. At least they captivate someone then I suppose.

Many of the Brits who’ve shifted over the pond maintained that one of the biggest benefits is the chance to change your image and “reinvent” yourself and Mel B has certainly done just that. Here, she was a mediocre singer in an albeit superhuge girl band but there, she makes a living from designing jewellery, lingerie and of course, making fitness videos.

Another UK has been – or in fact, never actually was in the first place – is ex-Bros ‘star’ Matt Goss who also showed Piers around his luxury pad and explained how he’s “made it” as a recording artist in Hollywood… presumably for longer than his one hit wonder career here in the UK.

And in a blissfully brief interview with oddiosity David Hasselhoff, the ex-star of Knight Rider and star of naff all else reckons that Brits are “like rats in LA! There’s more and more of ‘em everywhere!” he exclaimed through his whiter than white teeth and unmoving botoxed face…

He also claimed that Americans are taken aback by how rude the Brits are but freely admitted that the British say what the Americans are thinking but don’t have the cahones to say, which, if I was interested in anything he had to say, I’d have acknowledged was at least an honest statement… but I can’t stand him so I refuse to say anything nice about him!

I’ve really enjoyed these episodes of ‘Piers Morgan on’ and I hope he does more in the not too distant future. He doesn’t even try to pretend the shows are about serious investigative journalism; he’s just got an awesome job that pays him well to travel the world and talk to famous people. It’s a tough job but somebody’s gotta do it I guess and he does it with good humour and panache.

What did you think of his series?

Lynn is an editor and writer here at Unreality TV and is trained psychotherapist and the author of two books. She's addicted to soaps, period drama and reality TV shows such as X Factor, I'm A Celeb and Big Brother.