Monday has a rather interesting offering on Channel 4 at 9pm in the form of a documentary intriguingly entitled, The Gangster and the Pervert Peer. It centres on the story that in 1964, the Sunday Mirror made “lurid allegations” of a homosexual relationship between “a peer and a gangster”

Rumour had it that Tory Lord Bob Boothby had been attending illegal gay sex parties – organised by notorious underworld boss Ronnie Kray – seemed certain to wreck their chances of re-election…

Yet despite photographic evidence and leaks from Scotland Yard, the Mirror mysteriously retracted their story. Boothby received a record payout in damages, and the Krays went on to be one of the most powerful criminal gangs that London has ever known.

This documentary explores how a Tory Lord with a passion for kinky sex and a Labour MP with a love of cottaging made it possible for Ronnie Kray to make his gang untouchable, leading to a cross-party cover up at the highest level of government.

But the story didn’t stop there… Over 40 years later, newly discovered documents from the public records office suggests that other as yet unidentified influential public figures were influenced by the Kray twins, but have never been brought to justice.

You really need to stay in for this one!

Before that, there’s Snog Marry Avoid? On BBC3 at 8:30pm in which Jenny Frost presents the world’s first ‘make-under show’ which sees POD – Personal Overhaul Device – transform OTT girls and boys into natural beauties. Before and after each make-under, the public will vote as to whether they would rather snog, marry or avoid POD’s willing victims.

Flesh-flashing Mykela from London, metal-mad Mark and fake tan ambassador Chantelle from Big Brother face Jenny and POD. How immensely shallow and vacuous… so it should be good!

On Tuesday, a New Most Haunted begins on Living at 9pm and as usual, Yvette and the team will undoubtedly hear whistles and taps as they investigate ghoulies and ghosties at Madame Tussauds museum.

As well as being one of the world’s most famous tourist attractions, it’s also said to be the scene of paranormal phenomena… I wonder if there’ll be coin throwing this time? The chances are good…what I’d like to know is where they get the coins from? Heavenly slot machines?

Then at 10pm on More4, True Stories: Here’s Johnny, is about the surreal world of renowned graphic artist Johnny Hicklenton, who is battling with and against Multiple Sclerosis. Living in an increasing state of immobility and frustration, Johnny escapes the confines of his front room through his artwork.

Through the expression of his brilliant and sometimes troubled imagination, we learn about the disease that he can’t escape from and how it affects his life. You can see and hear him talking about his life here… http://www.heresjohnnyfilm.com/

Wednesday’s best offering for me is the very creepy and edge-of-your-seat film, Sleeping With The Enemy. It’s on at 10:00pm on Five. In case you’ve never seen it, the story centres around the attempts of an abused wife – wonderfully portrayed by Julia Roberts – to escape from her psycho of a husband who’s played by Patrick Bergin.

I won’t give away how she does it – because it’s a great part of the plot, but escape she does and begins her life anew. The new life includes a new love interest in the form of Kevin Anderson, but her crazed husband is relentless in looking for her and is never far behind her… Here’s a trailer from the film;

However, Wednesday at 11:05pm on Channel 4 is also Shameless time so as I love both Sleeping With The Enemy and Shameless, like a man with erectile dysfunction and a broken wrist, it’s going to be a tricksome toss up.

This week on the Chatsworth, Monica feels neglected when Frank rejects her sexual advances but a hypnotist night at the Jockey could provide the answer for her.

Carl’s new job leads to a sexy encounter but when he’s diagnosed with an STI, he embarks on a mission to inform all his past sexual conquests and meanwhile, the Maguires are outraged when they discover the grave of their son Fergal has been desecrated.

Thursday’s Primetime Picks are both rather uncomfortable watching but nonetheless promise to be interesting – if upsetting – viewing.

At 8pm on BBC1, a new series of the always fascinating Rogue Traders and this first episode is about the horrible practices at so called ‘puppy farms’ so you can expect some harrowing scenes.

In this episode, Matt Allwright and Dan Penteado investigate pet shops and dog breeders who sell sick puppies. The Rogue Traders team goes undercover to buy three puppies from establishments which have been reported to the RSPCA or trading standards.

One of the puppies cost £350 and was bought as a pedigree King Charles spaniel, but within a few days, the puppy fell ill with Parvo virus, a severe intestinal infection, and had to be put down.

Matt and the team reveal that in many cases, the paperwork is inadequate to prove a puppy’s pedigree, or that it’s been properly vaccinated. One of the dogs purchased by the Rogue Traders team had a docked tail, a procedure which was made illegal in England, Scotland and Wales in 2007.

When Matt confronts one puppy farm, the breeder attempts to hold the team captive and it takes a visit by the police to get them released.

Another harrowing show on Thursday is, Britain’s Conjoined Twins: Hope and Faith, which is on Channel 4 at 9pm. In November 2008, 18-year-old Laura Williams from Shrewsbury made medical history by becoming the youngest mother in the world to give birth to conjoined twins.

She and her husband Aled suddenly found themselves headline news when their twin daughters, Hope and Faith, were born in London. The twins were immediately transferred to the world-renowned Great Ormond Street Hospital, where a team of specialists used everything at their disposal to keep the girls alive after separation.

But as Hope lost her fight for life, the family struggled to support Faith while at the same time, mourning her lost sister. They relied on each other to get through the gruelling and exhausting events.

Since this documentary was made, baby Faith has also died. She passed away on Christmas Day.

Friday’s Primetime Picks are far less disturbing viewing and I’m really looking forward to the BBC4 show, Standing in the Shadows of Motown: Storyville, at 10pm.

Since childhood, I’ve been a huge fan of Motown – but I’ve lost weight since – however I still love the whole sound and ethos! This documentary tells the story of the Funk Brothers, the Motown session musicians who were behind more number one hits than the Beach Boys, the Rolling Stones, Elvis and the Beatles combined.

Drawn together from Detroit’s jazz and blues scene, the film recounts the evolution of the Motown sound from its origins to its demise in LA during the 1970s, and reunites the surviving Funk Brothers for the first time in thirty years. I can’t wait to see this one!

Taggart is on before Storyville at 9pm on ITV1, and the truth is, I only watch it so I can hear, “There’s bin a mehrdehr”

This episode is entitled Cold Reader and centres around university student Elaine Donohoe goes missing after a hockey game.

In a move that goes down like a lead balloon, a well-known psychic offers to help investigate her disappearance and Detective Chief Inspector Burke greets the news with his typical ‘charm’, dismissing the clairvoyant’s “hokey-cokey s***e”.

Isn’t that what happens if you have diarrhoea during a Scottish old folk’s party?

However, the psychic seems to know what she’s talking about; so much so that someone tries to silence her. You’ll see the ending coming, but it’s worth watching just for the look on Burke’s face when he attends one of the psychic’s shows. She tells him “the spirits want to talk” to him. Perhaps she contacted the spirit of Johnny Walker or Glen Fiddich for him!

On Saturday, one of the best films ever made – in my humble but always correct opinion – Vera Drake is on Channel 4 at 9pm. Vera Drake is beautifully played by Imelda Staunton and is a kindly working-class woman who lives with her mechanic husband Stan, son Sid and daughter Ethel. She’s a cleaning lady for posh London families including the cold-hearted Mrs Wells.

However, Vera has another side to her which her family knows nothing about… Aided by the shifty Lily, she assists young women who are “in the family way” by secretly visiting their homes and performing abortions with a home-made kit. Vera doesn’t take a penny for her ‘work’ – she does it out of kindness and compassion – however, after an abortion goes horribly wrong, she’s tracked down by the police and has to face up to the consequences of her actions. Here’s a trailer for the film…

Also on Saturday is Catastrophe, presented by funnyman turned geek, Tony Robinson. This episode – which is on More4 at 8pm – investigates the Permian extinction, which is apparently what happened when a massive volcanic eruption is believed to have wiped out almost all life on earth. My husband will be glued to it…

On Sunday – no sooner has Piers Morgan’s series, Piers Morgan On… finished – a new show, Piers Morgan’s Life Stories, begins and the subject this week is Sharon Osbourne. It’s on at 10pm on ITV2 and is filmed in front of a studio audience.

In this first show, Sharon talks about her eventful life – including her relationship with her violent father, the moment Ozzy tried to kill her, and the reasons why she left The X Factor. It also features contributions from some of Sharon’s closest friends, and includes the first-ever UK interview with her daughter Aimee.

Our final Sunday Primetime Pick is The River Cottage Treatment on More4 at 7:55pm. It’s the first of Hugh’s new series in which he invites a group of ‘urban dwellers’ to spend a week at his River Cottage in an effort to change their reliance on convenience foods and especially the cheap chicken products they buy.

Hugh reveals to them the truth about factory-reared poultry before encouraging them to care for his own stock of poultry. His aim is to have them “bond with the birds” by the end of the week.

Here come a few puns… ‘that’s fowl’ and finally, you’ll be delighted to hear, ‘what a poultry (paltry) effort’

That’s it for this week’s Primetime Picks! See you here next week, same time, same place, same sarcasm!