Seven Dwarves – The Wedding: Max and Karen tie the knot as we find out what happened to their other five friends on Channel 4

by Matt D

Last year Seven Dwarves became a breakaway hit for Channel 4 as we watched the ups and downs of seven characters who starred in a production of Snow White together while sharing a house at the same time. During the course of the programme we got to know Josh, Laura, Jamie John, Craig and Ryan but most importantly saw love blossom between panto veteran Max and single mum Karen. Since the show ended Max has moved in with Karen and her two girls Amber and Molly before proposing to her on Christmas Day while the other dwarves all went their separate ways however Channel 4 are not only following the wedding preparations but bringing the dwarves back together one more time.

Karen and Max have chosen a rather a unusual venue for their wedding reception – a marquee at the 2nd Annual Happy Days Music Festival which is to be headlined by Billy Ocean and Level 42. The idea came about during a drunken discussion between the couple and their friend Pod who organises the event and made the initial suggestion which turned into a concrete plan. Looking over at the beaming picture of Billy Ocean in the corner of Pod’s office, Max comments that he is a legend of British music and I half think they wanted the singer to officiate at their nuptials. Though they haven’t got Billy Ocean they have got their friend in to coach them on the wedding dance, which sadly we never see the finished version of, this is a very funny sequence in which the pair seem to be getting on alright but then end up toppling over. Generally though the wedding plans seem to involve Karen getting upset at Max for some such reason before storming off and claiming that it’s her day but they always reconcile and to me they seem to have a healthy relationship.

So what of the other dwarves well they went off to do a variety of things although we never really get to find out much about the majority of them. I think though Jamie John slipped the director a fiver as we got to discover quite a lot about his new life in Spain touring the bars as the first dwarf drag-act ‘Miss DQ’ while JJ’s manager claimed that he wanted to break the clichés of what it meant to be a drag queen I don’t think they’d quite managed it yet as we saw him come out in full make-up to a hammy version of ‘I Am What I Am’. As well as Karen and Max, Ryan is also getting married to his partner Amy though unfortunately they didn’t want a double wedding the pair look happy together. Craig is also happy in a relationship with his interior designer boyfriend, they even have had their portrait painted together, and though he claims that they do get strange looks when they walk down the street they’re happy together. Laura, as we learnt in the last programme, always wanted to be a police officer but as her height works against her she now works in prisons as a public speaker. Finally Josh, well we don’t really learn a lot about Josh other than he’s not looking for love and instead he’s concentrating on his career whatever that might be.

Back to Max and Karen who have finished their arguing long enough to go off on their respective Stag and Hen dos in Brighton. Max’s stag seems to involve him dressing up as a woman all evening, he should’ve got advice from Miss DQ, before getting royally drunk and having to be helped out by his dad who suggests some food for his sozzled son. Karen’s Hen seems to involve plenty of inflatable penises, which is quite a shock seeing as her daughter is present, and as we learn it’s not a good night out for the bride-to-be unless she’s wet herself thankfully though we never get to learn if this actually happened. Both Karen and Max look great on the day itself with the only slip up being Max reciting one of the lines wrong, surely a mistake a pantomime veteran shouldn’t be making, but other than that the pair have a very happy day. As I’m a big softy at heart I started to well-up as Karen’s older daughter Amber delivered her speech about how happy she was that Max was in her mother’s life. Everybody else then managed to get a speech in, including Karen who was adamant throughout that it was her day and she wasn’t going to stay silent, before they made it out onto the field to dance along to ‘You Got the Love’ with the bride getting her dress all muddy in the process. All the other dwarves seemed to present and correct at the wedding though they were never seen congratulating the happy couple which to me seemed a little odd.

I can appreciate to an extent that this is Max and Karen’s story and from that standpoint the programme is set out excellently although I did find her constant moods a little bit repetitive I suppose it’s demonstrating that she’s just like any other woman about to get married for the first time. I was a little disappointed though that we didn’t get a little more on what each of the dwarves are doing now, only Jamie John got any real camera time out of the five, maybe their stories aren’t that interesting but as this was billed as a sort of reunion show I would’ve like to have heard more. It was also strange that we didn’t see them together at the wedding a bit more and that none of them seemed to be partying with Max and Karen which I thought would be an obvious moment to capture on screen presuming of course that it happened. At the end of the day though Seven Dwarves: The Wedding was just a lovely little documentary showing the journey to the altar of two people who truly love each other and also showing that everybody deserves to be loved.

What did you think to Seven Dwarves: The Wedding? Did you want to see more of the rest of the gang? Leave Your Comments Below.

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