As TV viewers, we’ve got more choices and options than at any time in the history of TV watching, but nonetheless, there are still TV things that are thrust upon us whether we want them or not; a bit like fairy cakes when you go to your mother in law’s.

So what we want to know is, if you were appointed fairy godmother or godfather – see, we’re politically correct here at Primetime – and were given a magic TV wand to wave, what five things would you banish from TV land?

Here’s what I’d wave my magic telly wand at and make disappear into a cloud of pixellated dust… Read more & comment »

Singalong now... "You dozy ladies make me want to spew... I hope Sheila's Wheels run over you!"

I’ve been wondering lately what it is that makes some adverts so irritating that we want to hurt our TV for showing them to us while some others are just so great that, far from hating them, we’ll actively enjoy them and not flick over while they’re on!

What is the ‘X’ factor that makes this televisual selling alchemy a battle of good over evil? Read more & comment »

This week’s TV has been a positive cornucopia of dubious televisual delights, not least, the hideous spectacle of Verne Troyer snogging a doll. I literally gagged as he ‘French kissed’ and fondled the breasts of the doll while pretending it was Mutya.

It was truly hideous and sparked outrage from viewers who were similarly repulsed, however, as repellent as it was, one thing seems to have been kinda missed… if it had been Coolio or Terry or Tommy who’d done it, it would have had serious paedophilic overtones but because it was done by someone who was ‘small’ – but nonetheless an adult man – it was just gross.

I’ve been trying to figure it out and that is the only thing I can think of for why there weren’t cries of ‘paedo’ ringing around TV forums; simply because Verne is child sized. How weird is that??

I’ll remember the day always because it was the same day that Ulrika didn’t cry and DFS weren’t having a sale. Read more & comment »

I hate some TV adverts with a passion…

Take for example the ads for sofa companies who tell us constantly that their sale ends Monday, but will this elusive Monday ever come or do they just end one sale every Monday and start another one on Tuesday?

Then there are the ads that shout at you, just in case you’re the village idiot. Remember Tony Scott of Cilit Bang notoriety? I wonder if he goes around at home going ‘I’M TONY SCOTT! WHERE’S MY SOCKS?’

Read more & comment »