A couple of US TV shows as well as some live extravaganzas headline this week’s big TV preview.

The Eurovision Song Contest (BBC1, Sat, 8pm)
After two nights of watching increasingly barmy semi-final acts, which saw us say goodbye to some of the wackiest songs, it’s time for Saturday’s main event namely. If, like me, you’re having a Eurovision shindig then you’ll want to pace yourself as there are plenty of boring Balkan ballads littered among the headline-grabbing acts which will drag your evening down. In terms of UK viewers the evening may peak early on as Englebert Humperdink, or #TheHump as idiots are now calling him, is performing his gentle love song ‘Love Will Set You Free’ in the first position. Will that count against him in the final voting? Only time will tell however it’s quite clear that our country will probably never win this thing again. Along the way we also have the Turkish man-boat, the Russian Grannies, the Ukrainian Samantha Mumba, the Swedish girl getting pelted by snow and of course the unstoppable force that is Jedward. Though Eurovision isn’t always great its camp value shines through and if you don’t take it too seriously you’re always guaranteed to have a good time.

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On Tuesday night we had the first Eurovision semi-final which ended with Jedward’s performance in which they completely soaked themselves in a fountain, however tonight I felt they were one-upped by the Swedish entry Loreen who was almost blown over by wind machines before being pelted with a torrent of fake snow. I feel with the rain and the snow already sorted this could be the precipitation themed Eurovision and somebody could come out on Saturday night to throw a bucket full of hailstones over Englbert Humperdink, sorry #TheHump, to liven up his performance slightly. The fake snow was a highlight of a very bland second semi-final which couldn’t live up to the madness of Tuesday night as there was no baking, no donkeys and no laptops however there were four Turkish men pretending to be a ship but more on that later.

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