When most of us go out to a club the first tune we like to hear is obviously a bad rendition of Boy Meets Girl’s seminal 1988 work ‘Waiting for a Star to Fall’ followed soon after by a mash-up of Crystal Waters’ ‘Gypsy Girl’ and Tinie Tempah’s Pass Out. If that’s not your cup of tea then it seems you wouldn’t like the sort of club that X-Factor wants to create as we enter the dreaded ‘Club Classics’ week for the third live show.

Judging from the tweed suit that Gary was wearing the club in question was in fact a golf club, while the now urban ‘Uncle Louis’ was ready to embrace his new favourite genre of music despite the fact he’d left his Timmy Mallet glasses at home. Dermot was also on fire from the start of the show by getting a stuntman to perform his opening dance before saying that Tulisa lives in a club as she doesn’t even own a home.

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If there’s one thing that The X-Factor has been synonymous with over the past nine years then it’s the sob story a piece of information about a singer’s past that makes it impossible for the judges to root against them. X-Factor fans will probably be used to them by now as they’ve been recycled over and over again however I believe tonight’s show had the most sob stories crammed into it.

I didn’t think it would be a sob-story filled night straight away though as we were introduced to our first contestant 70 year old Nick Buss a grumpy old man who resents waiting in a queue and just wants to go home but instead has decided to come to The X-Factor after that incident years ago when Stars in their Eyes lost his tape. As the One Foot in the Grave theme tune played in the background you already knew that Nick wouldn’t be any good but you had to suffer through the segment where Nick said he was a fan of Gary and Louis but didn’t recognise Rita Ora, I wouldn’t either to be fair, but he did now who Tulisia was. It seems that mispronouncing Tulisa’s name is the new theme of the series, as her admirer Jason did last week also, I think this is the reason that a lot of people just seem to call her T. Nick wore glasses in tribute to his favourite artist of all time, Buddy Holly, and later performed one of his tunes which didn’t go down all that well. The male judges let Nick down gently while he didn’t really care about Rita but when it came to the judgment of ‘Tulisia’ he started to get the hump and stormed backstage before turning the air blue with his foul mouth. I’m not sure why this segment went on first but it was certainly entertaining as at the end of the day who doesn’t like to hear old people swear?

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