Vernon Kay Is NOT Dead!
Vernon Kay had quite the weekend! He woke up on Saturday morning to find out that he was dead, or rather that some prankster has altered his wikipedia page to say that he had just died in a yachting accident.
The sick post read: ‘Vernon Kay sadly passed away after falling off a yacht on holiday in Greece on the 12th of September 2008.
‘Kay and his wife Tess Daly and their daughter Pheobe were on the yacht. Kay was spotted on his mobile by photographers before tragedy struck. He was waving to photographers and slipped and fell off of the edge of the yacht and was knocked unconscious.’
A shocked Vernon said last night; ‘I am alive and kicking. A few friends rang to check that I was all right – I wish I was on a yacht in Greece!’
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Vernon Kaye almost did die of a very serious attack of self importance at the Late night kebab shop on Edgeware Road in London. Surrounded by sychophants, he clowned around noisily at 3 am until his limited intellect stuck in his throat and he choked while his friends laughed and lauded him… “Vernon you are such a legend… this is a really good gag” – It certainly was as he gagged for air amidst further arse licking from the assembled company. Finally, as he turned blue an middle eastern visitor to our shores who did not recognise the said legend, smote him firmly on the back and freed the blockage. Gasping, he hailed himself as clearly party to the second tv coming since all his misdeeds (and there were very many he said) had flashed before his eyes. Ordinary customers marvelled that such a towering no body, could almost be felled by his own importance, and yet be saved by the will of Allah. God moves in a mysterious way! He did not manage to eat the delicious kebab with extra chili. For those of you who remain doubters, this is a true story and so beware those who innocently seek refreshment at this hour. Choose carefully the comany you keep in Edgeware Road.
ok “medialuvvy” that is seriously weird and disturbing.