We’ve Been Watching – The Cube

the cube

In the first few minutes, I thought this show was going to be… well, I can’t utilise handy swear words – what with this being a family site and all – so I’ll put something that rhymes with what I was thinking; absolute ‘trucking plight’.

Phillip Schofield was presiding and let’s face it, he’s the thinking woman’s totty is our Phil, so I was already sold there, but as he introduced the rules and ‘The Cube’, I thought the whole thing was the rather sad lovechild of Crystal Maze and Who Wants To Be A Millionaire. And there was a little nod to Top Gear thrown in for good measure in the form of the anonymous ‘Body’ who demonstrates the games in a Stig-like outfit, complete with concealing mask.

So, prepared to be bored witless, it was with some surprise that within minutes, and by the time the first ever contestant, Dean, got to playing for £20,000, my underwear was making it’s way to a place where the sun don’t shine and I was yelling at my telly while groaning when Dean lost a life, of which he had nine by the way.

My son and I began wondering out loud if Dean would use his Simplify, and we groaned when he did and all that happened was ‘The Cube’ took two balls away… confused?

Well, so were we for a few minutes, but it’s actually a very simple game to follow and sweat along with. And most importantly, it’s got that certain je ne sais qoit that seems so elusive in other game shows. Millionaire has it, Deal or No Deal has it, but the road to game show success is littered with the corpses of shows that did not.

It’s quite tense and as with Millionaire, you can tell fairly quickly that some contestants just aren’t going to do terribly well. This was the case with the second – and last – contestant, Rhianne. One of her Cube challenges was to drop a ball into a small vessel. Tricky? Well, yes in that it took good hand to eye coordination and a sense of spatial awareness. So what did Rhianne do? She closed her eyes…

The rest was pretty inevitable and poor Rhianne went home with, yes, you’ve guessed it, diddly squat, and lots of it.

So will I be watching next week? Damn straight I will!

Lynn is an editor and writer here at Unreality TV and is trained psychotherapist and the author of two books. She's addicted to soaps, period drama and reality TV shows such as X Factor, I'm A Celeb and Big Brother.