Saturdays in the autumn scheduling tend to be dominated by the rival shows, X Factor and Strictly Come Dancing, but for those of you who aren’t into reality – or celeb reality – TV shows, I’ve included a few programme suggestions to keep you entertained this evening!

For us girls, and some of you boys too, there are some very hot males on our screens in my pick of shows tonight including Michael French in Casualty, Richard Armitage in Vicar of Dibley, Ross Kemp being well’ard in Belize, Vernon Kay at the helm of Family Fortunes and Simon Cowell in X Factor.

Isn’t it great that we get to have these gorgeous blokes in our living room on a Saturday night without needing to put make-up on or get dressed up or pretend we can cook! Awesome.

So let’s take a look at what’s on tonight…

Strictly Come Dancing, BBC1, 6.10pm ~ This is the first live show of the new series so the competition proper gets under way tonight. The eight male contestants must learn to either waltz or cha-cha-cha while the girls take part in a group dance. Next week, the girls get to show their individual dancing talents.

Coming Home from Space: The Challenge of Re-entry, Discovery Science, 7pm ~ If posh frocks, wizards and amateur singers aren’t your cup of tea, this documentary about the terrible Columbia space shuttle disaster in 2003 may be worth a look.

Columbia’s sister ship, Challenger, exploded soon after take-off in 1986 killing the six astronauts on board and schoolteacher Christa McAuliffe. The show discusses the reasons for both accidents – though the primary focus is on Columbia – and what can be done to prevent a similar disaster from ever happening again.

Merlin, BBC1, 7.30pm ~ The Dragon’s Call: New thirteen part drama series that chronicles Merlin’s early years as a budding wizard and king protector. Think Harry Potter’s great-great-great granddad and you’re probably on the right track. Fans of sorcery and the whole dungeons and dragons thing will probably love this show but I’m not sure if the rest of us will. Having said that, with the brilliant Richard Wilson and John Hurt in it, you can be sure it’s a very classy show if nothing else.

In tonight’s first outing, we see a young Merlin sent by his mother to Camelot and as one of the first things he sees is a man being executed for using magic, he wisely decides not to shout about his own special skills. He starts his new life under the tutelage of Gaius – Richard Wilson – the court doctor and soon discovers that his new job is to protect the future king of Albion, Arthur. He’s also taught by a dragon, as many of us were at some point, whose plummy voice is provided by John Hurt.

X Factor, ITV1, 7.30pm ~ Tonight’s show is the last of the auditions round and features the final few who made it to boot camp. These hopefuls include 23-year-old Duane Lamonte, a young man who says he’s a friend of previous X Factor winner, Leona Lewis.

Duane sings the Stevie Wonder song ‘Lately’ in tonight’s show and impresses the panel with his performance. Simon tells him that “the competition needs someone like you”, and Louis says that he has “really good potential”.

Will Mrs Cole be wearing her wedding ring tonight? Will Dannii and Cheryl do that silly “one million percent yes” vs “one trillion percent yes” rivalry thing they do – which may well be an attempt to show that even pretty girls know big numbers – and will Simon’s reported botox make him less intimidating to the vocally challenged contestants? Tune in tonight to find out!

The Vicar of Dibley, UKTV Gold, 7.50pm ~ The Handsome Stranger: Dawn French’s rural/ecclesiastical comedy is always worth a re-watch and this episode in particular is one of my favourites. It’s in two parts and is the Christmas special from 2006 in which the rotund vicar finally gets her man. Part two is on tomorrow at 7.50pm.

In this episode, Alice announces that she’s deciphered the Da Vinci Code and is clearly the daughter of Jesus and a handsome stranger moves into the village who at first, Geraldine wants to get rid of. She’s fed up of ‘townies’ buying up local properties but when she meets the new villager – played by the edible Richard Armitage – she soon changes her mind…

This wonderful comedy marked the closing episodes of VOD with part two tomorrow covering Geraldine’s wedding that was organised by the villagers. Owen’s in charge of the explosives while Alice wants to make the Vicar’s dress out of pine or failing that, a pirate’s costume. There are some brilliantly funny moments including the part where Geraldine points out to her friend that Alice isn’t great in the ideas department, comparing her wedding day decisions to the time she suggested using pubic hair as fuel to heat the nation’s homes, to which Alice replies, “Well it’s easier to get at and we don’t really need it”. Brilliant stuff!

Even My Pet’s A Porker, Animal Planet, 8pm ~ You can see our Odd Programme of the Week article for a description of the first of tonight’s two overweight animal and owner shows, and in the second, we meet Chantelle. She’s only 18 but her unhealthy lifestyle has led to her developing diabetes and it is also killing her cat. Suspected kidney disease sets alarm bells ringing for the experts who sort Chantelle and her cat out. I know it’s not funny but – well, it sort of is.

All Star Family Fortunes, ITV1, 8.30pm ~ In tonight’s show, Corrie star Antony Cotton and his family compete for cash for charity against ex-Hollyoaks actress Gemma Atkinson and her family. If like me, you remember the start of Family Fortunes back in the 80’s with Bob Monkhouse, you can take a step back in time with clips from old shows here. I love a bit of nostalgia of a weekend!

When Beauty Goes Wrong, BBC3, 8.30pm ~ In tonight’s ordinary-folks-horror-story show, Konnie Huq discovers what can happen when everyday beauty treatments go horribly wrong. We meet the bride who ended up gazing through a veil of tears on her wedding day, the wannabe brunette who ended up in hospital and the victims of piercings gone awry who all tell their stories.

Casualty, BBC1, 9pm ~ Interventions: A familiar face returns to Holby City tonight with the arrival of the suave chick magnet, Nick Jordan, played by the drop dead gorgeous Michael French. Remember him in Eastenders? Phwoar.

Jordan is due to take charge of Holby’s emergency department, but has to take up his new role earlier than planned when a casual visit to the ED turns into a full shift. A young girl lies seriously injured with a broken bottle stuck in her throat – which has gotta sting – and Nick must bring all the staff into line so that for once, it’s the patients and not their love lives that’s the most important thing. He starts as he means to go on with Adam and puts a smile on the dour Ruth’s face. And fair dos, he’d make me smile too…

Ross Kemp On Gangs, Sky One, 9pm ~ The ex-Eastenders actor travels to Belize in Central America where he investigates weapons on the streets of the city as well as joining police on a dawn raid in the notorious Southside.

Ross also meets with the leader of a notorious and very much feared gang, the George Street Crew, who operate as Belize’s enforcers on behalf of the Mexican and Colombian drug cartels. Viewers have a choice of start times with this show too.

It’ll Be Alright on the Night, ITV1, 9.15pm ~ It’s the end of a era as this classic – and the original – bloopers show is now hosted by Griff Rhys Jones rather than Dennis Norden. Tonight’s collection of outtakes feature some of the nation’s most popular TV stars, including Ant & Dec, Vernon Kay, Helen Mirren, Bradley Walsh with other on set bloopers provided by the casts of Coronation Street, Emmerdale and Heartbeat.

These aren’t so much funny as interesting; I like to see these folks out of context and it’s always fascinating to watch them getting it wrong and swearing – or maybe I just need to get a life.

Mock The Week, BBC2, 10pm ~ This very funny show is hosted by Dara O’Briain who presides over the wit and satire of two teams of comedians while they take a satirical swipe at the news and world events from this week. Regulars Frankie Boyle, Hugh Dennis, Russell Howard and Andy Parsons are joined tonight by guests Adam Bloom and Gina Yashere. Yeah, I don’t know who they are either.

The Guru, ITV1, 10.15pm ~ This film takes a gentle-comedy approach to both New Age mysticism and the excesses of the Bollywood musical and was the first major movie role for the lovely Jimi Mistry who also starred in the hilarious East Is East.

Ramu Gupta is an aspiring actor and dance instructor who heads for New York from his home in India, determined to see his name in lights. However, he ends up making a career as the Big Apple’s leading sex guru, thanks to the advice passed onto him by a porn star.

Well that’s it for today’s TV picks but whatever you’re doing tonight, have a good ‘un!