Well, I’m sorry to report that football dominates primetime on ITV1 tonight to cover the Marseilles v Liverpool match. I can’t stand football and it bugs me that normal scheduling is put off for it buy hey ho, at least there are plenty of other programmes for we non-footy fans to watch, so let’s take a look what’s on offer.

Emmerdale, ITV1, 7pm ~ My choice of soaps to watch tonight is Emmerdale, only because there’s a chance the ludicrous character Donald might kick the bucket and because we get to see the obnoxious Nicola in a really stupid outfit apparently. So, in tonight’s episode, Anna tells Donald that one of their biggest clients has taken his business to the Kings and she thinks Carl helped his brothers to win the client over. Donald refuses to believe her but when he confronts Carl, he finds out it’s true.
Later, Donald and Anna argue over what she sees as his disloyalty to her and his disinterest in her life, but she has to act fast when Donald collapses with what seems to be a heart attack. Elsewhere in the village, Nicola braves the jeers of the villagers as she appears in a ridiculous outfit to promote the book and Rodney once again realises he can’t trust Nicola as far as he can throw her.

Highland Emergency, Five, 7.30pm ~ I love watching medic type programmes and this one is better than most as it follows rescues in some of the most treacherous and inhospitable terrain in the UK. Tonight’s episode sees search and rescue teams battling desperately to find a missing pilot and a Royal Navy team have to try to rescue a colleague in trouble but high winds and heavy seas hamper their attempts.

Lorraine Kelly’s DNA Stories, Sky Three, 8pm ~ It’s interesting to see Lorraine Kelly somewhere other than the GMTV sofa but the same passion she shows when talking about the latest style of footwear seamlessly transfers to this show. It’s rather like Jeremy Kyle meets Forensic Detectives. Lorraine presents two stories tonight; in the first, a man questions whether he really is the father of a baby despite the child’s mother’s insistence that he is. In the second show, an entirely more serious case is that of a woman who wants Lorraine’s help to find out whether or not her father was responsible for the sexual abuse she suffered as a child.

UK Border Force, Sky One, 9pm ~ Many of us only get to hear the negatives about immigration, primarily that far too many immigrants cross our borders illegally and with what seems to be comparative ease, but this programme provides a very interesting insight into work of border officials who stop thousands of illegal immigrants from getting into the country. Tonight, we see officers in Calais conducting searches of lorries while at Heathrow Terminal 3, a student is prevented from entering the UK after a trip home to his native India.

Mutual Friends, BBC1, 9pm ~ This comedy-drama series follows the lives of a group of old friends who are now thirty or forty-something and doing grown up things. Jen and Martin are trying for a baby but Martin’s struggling to deliver the ‘goods’. To make things worse, his pregnant boss Sarah says she’ll fire him if he doesn’t bring in more business. However, her life isn’t going that well either because news of her pregnancy comes as shock to Patrick, the man she had an affair with. He gets more of a shock when he finds out who the baby’s father actually is.

CSI Miami, Five, 9pm ~ Chain Reaction. I find CSI to be very unbelievable, even by the standards of American drama, but as it has such a huge, almost cult following, I’m guessing I’m in the minority! Tonight’s episode sees Horatio investigating the murder of a model who was electrocuted on the catwalk. He also discovers that the victim was married to a prisoner who recently held his son hostage. Starring David Caruso.

Bodyshock, Channel 4, 10pm ~ The Girl With Two Faces. Tonight’s episode features the story of baby Lali, who was born in rural India in March this year. The infant was born with two faces – the odds of which happening are 50 million to one. The programme follows her parents as they make decisions about and for Lali that go against everything they believe in and which will thrust them into a world they have little experience of. Moving and educational, this episode of Bodyshock not only follows Lali and her family, it also highlights just how much we in the Western world take for granted and how hard it is to sacrifice so much for the good of your child.

So the football doesn’t need to take over our evening’s viewing but I still resent it! See you all tomorrow when all that overpaid and overrated kicking a bag of wind around is over…