It’s a great night in again tonight – which is fortunate as I don’t have a life – with my highlight being the start of The Family on C4. I’m very nosey so this peek behind the net curtains and a chance to tut at the antics of other people’s teenagers is very welcome. Saves me having to bother taking any notice of what my own are up to for an hour anyway!

Here are all our recommendations for tonight…

The Real Hustle, BBC3, 7pm. ~ I find it very odd that this programme goes out at all, never mind at primetime. It could also be called, ‘How To Be A Con Artist/Criminal and Get Away With It’ and more surprisingly, dear old Aunty Beeb’s little cousin, BBC3, is devoting an hour tonight to teaching us how to carry off frauds and thefts and get away with it! So budding criminals tune in! It’s like Open University for the ASBO set.

Tonight, Alexis Conran, Paul Wilson and Jessica Clement try out some notorious scams on members of the public which are filmed with hidden cameras. Jess demonstrates that looking good doesn’t have to cost you anything and the team con people into selling their cars without realising they have. They also ransack a five-star hotel room and hit Ibiza for a spot of sun, sea and scamming.

In the second epidsode, the gang steal the entire contents of a couple’s house, and launch their own range of fat-busting ‘miracle’ products which help their victims lose pounds – of the sterling variety. Paul also demonstrates a quick and easy way to win a round of drinks from your mates with a ‘proposition’ bet.

Coronation Street, ITV1, 7.30pm ~ This is my soap pick of the day primarily to see how the show’s writers can further evolve the ludicrous storyline surrounding Harry the bookie and his totally OTT and unbelievable wife Clarissa. Both characters are now paying Lloyd to spy on each other – unbeknown to either – and a showdown is headed their way as Liz invites Harry for a lock-in.

Elsewhere, Fiz confides in Julie that she’s feeling the pressure of the gossip monger’s tongues while John tries to convince Maria that he’s truly sorry for what he did to Fiz. Given that he’s about to take his ex-squeeze Rosie a prisoner, she’s right to take everything he says with a pinch of salt.

With the other street’s residents, Tom and Liam want to go to New York to promote their new business but Maria’s put her foot down with a firm hand and won’t hear of it. Becky and Jason are hunting for a place to live but not getting very far while Vernon wants Liz to hear all about his song-writing plans.

Life In Cold Blood, BBC4, 8pm ~ Armoured Giants: I absolutely love David Attenborough’s nature programmes and in tonight’s show, we meet the reptile heavyweights; tortoises, turtles and crocodiles. The always amazing camera work shows what life’s like when you’ve got a big a suit of armour on your back and reveals a warm and surprisingly caring side to these giants.

We take a look at what other reptiles probably download off the ‘net when their wives have gone to bed – mating giant tortoises and passionate green turtles. There’s also fabulous footage of a female spectacled caiman rescuing a huge crèche of babies and sophisticated saltwater crocodiles that ambush fish in the same way that bears catch salmon.

Celebrity Come Dine With Me, Channel 4, 8pm ~ Celebrity special of the cookery-based reality show in which celebrities compete for the title of the best dinner party host. Peter Stringfellow, Lee Ryan, Michelle Heaton and Linda Barker take up the challenge in tonight’s show in which the three guests must secretly rate each dinner party one to ten. The best celeb chef receives £1,000 for the charity of their choice. They probably spent treble that on the food and drink alone but it’s the thought that counts I guess.

The Family, Channel 4, 9pm ~ Life Begins at 40: Repeated on C4 at 11pm. This series was filmed over four months and documents the lives of, unsurprisingly, families in the UK. In this first episode, we meet mum and dad, Jane and Simon Hughes, who seem to be training for the Olympic sport of ‘Yell At A Teenager’, and I reckon they could well take a gold when the time comes.

The teenager they do most of the yelling at in tonight’s episode is their daughter, 19 year old Emily, who does her fair share of shouting too. The couple also have three other children who range in age from 14 to 22 years old.

Emily is the primary focus of this first instalment and she’s in a mini-war with her parents who accuse her of using their house “like a hotel”. I remember my mum saying the very same thing to me! She never did put little toiletries in the bathroom though or make my bed and put a mint on the pillow, however I digress. Mum Jane is approaching 40 and isn’t happy at the prospect and she feels that Emily’s nocturnal antics are just adding to her stress.

Lost In Austen, ITV1, 9pm ~ This is one of those dramas that’s like Marmite; you either love it or hate it and I’m afraid despite the fact that I generally love period type drama, this one isn’t doing it for me at all. However, as it’s been doing extremely well in the ratings, I’m probably in the minority. Perhaps it’s just that I can’t suspend my disbelief enough to allow me to engage in the story or with the characters… or perhaps it’s just pants. What do you think of the time travelling nonsense?

Anyway, tonight, Mr Darcy declares his undying love for Amanda, which leaves her both overjoyed at having won his heart, and racked with guilt at the thought of coming between him and Elizabeth Bennet. To complicate things, Amanda also has to help Jane, who is totally miserable in her marriage to Collins. Meanwhile, the fearsome Lady Catherine de Bourgh watches things too closely and a gloomy Bingley takes to the bottle.

Who Do You Think You Are, BBC2, 9pm ~ David Suchet: Tonight’s show is about the ancestry of the wonderful Poirot actor, David Suchet, who delves into his family’s history and uncovers a tale of tragedy and heroism. He goes to London and Paris to discover what his great-grandfather, Arnold Jarche, did with his life and attempts to find out the origin of his unusual surname.

As much as I love David Suchet in Poirot, I have to say this one looks like a bit of a yawn but that said, we do get to see a fair bit of nice scenery. Russia, Prussia, South Africa and France are all visited in the programme and while it’s moderately interesting to hear about a shipwreck that involved his great-great-great grandfather, the rest of the show involves a lot of searching through papers and books which isn’t exactly enthralling watching. Diehard Suchet fans will love it though.

Fonejacker, E4, 10pm ~ Tonight sees the start of the new series in which hoax telephone calls are made to unsuspecting victims. The caller’s alter-egos include George Agdgdgwngo the African scamster, Terry Tibbs the dodgy dealer, salesman Irish Mike and a host of new characters.

My favourite is George; when he calls to ask people to confirm who he is, he thoroughly befuddles them. I think I find him to be the funniest of the characters because he’s actually so real. We’ve all experienced calling or being called from call centres in far flung corners of the world and the subsequent struggle to understand a word that’s said. Good stuff but it can become a tad samey after a while. Worth a look though.

The Royle Family, UKTV Gold, 10.20pm ~ Sunday Afternoon: Despite having seen every episode of Caroline Aherne’s brilliant Royle Family at least three times, I’ll be tuning in for this one. It’s Sunday and Nana’s round, so after dinner and an afternoon of dozing on the couch, there’s fierce competition – and cheating on Nana’s part –when the Antiques Roadshow comes on. Mary brings Denise’s wedding dress round for a fitting and Dave tries to recover from a bad pint at The Pear Tree. Anthony is sent to the offie for ciggies and chocolate and later has fun winding Dave up about Denise’s arch enemy, Beverly Macca.

That’s it for today so have a great Wednesday!