This week’s episode was every bit as good as last week’s, if not better in fact. One of the major high points for me was a brief appearance by Huey Morgan from Fun Lovin’ Criminals, with whom I’d happily get whacked on Scooby snacks any old time. However, I digress…

The saga of the Hotel That May Never Be Finished continued and as Christmas faded away and the New Year dawned, the hotel doors were somewhere in Europe, as were the beds, and Mick, second in command of the project, looked like he wished he was likewise.

Kevin on the other hand, the overall boss of the building work, was cooler than a polar bear’s dangly bits, despite the fact that the hotel was still nowhere near completion and Mark was on the brink of tearing someone a new one. And I doubt any court in the land would’ve convicted him if they’d seen for themselves the agony of trying to achieve even one deadline…

But Kevin has missed his vocation; he really should be a professional poker player. As Mark became increasingly irate about the doors – or more specifically, the lack thereof – he demanded that Kevin and Mick get the lorry containing the doors to the hotel that day. All he wanted to do, he told them, was see that the doors really were there. They didn’t have to be fitted that day, he just wanted to see them…

So, as evening fell, Mark went in search of Kevin and Mick and found them outside where Mick was bemoaning the fact that the workforce wouldn’t do overtime in order to get the project finished. As Mark appeared, the tension was palpable when he said, “Where are my doors? Are they coming?”

At this point, you could almost feel Mick’s heart stopping, but Kevin stepped into the breech…

“There’s an opportunity… he phoned me up, the guy, and went ranting down the phone. I said, ‘Look, it’s not me that’s pushin’ it as much now, it’s the client’ but he offered for me to go down to Heston and look at some services in the back of a lorry…”

Now despite this being primarily gibberish, it in fact had the desired effect and Mark replied, “Oh good! As long as they’ve done that, then we know it’s really there. Ok.”

So Mark wandered back in leaving Kevin to ask of Mick, “Do y’think he believed me?” and Mick replied with a resounding, “Yes.” Kevin then looked to camera and said, “We haven’t got a clue where these doors are. Where is Heston?”

Brilliant.

But the problem of the workers not making enough effort was still an issue, however, Mark had an answer; he ‘treated’ the lads to dozens of cans of coke, and not the variety that require a mirror and a five pound note. But as he waxed lyrical about the merits of buoying up the spirits of the workers by saving them £1.50 a day with said cola, what he failed to mention is that the cans had been stored at his restaurant and were coated in grease, punctured, dented and generally, not fit for human consumption. So his grand gesture did little to encourage anyone to do anything faster.

But it wasn’t all doom and gloom – there was the choosing of the Jacuzzi to do, which went well, apart from when Lesley got locked in a shed, and the remedy to the sparkly fabric wallpaper that cost £15,000 turned out to be wooden beading. It was Mark’s idea and it worked well, so that meant that the glitzy fabric/paper could stay.

Then Mandy, Mark’s wife, went to have a look at the hotel and she was surprisingly upbeat about it. As she wandered around rooms strewn with hanging wires and nothing but the bare frame of a room in evidence, she confidently announced that she felt it was going so well, she was off to buy a dress for the opening night. You’ve got to admire the lady for her glass half full approach.

Mick was not similarly optimistic and as the doors arrived – some of them anyway – his hopes of it being a problem free day full of doors and expert fitters were soon quashed. The doors weren’t the spec that had been ordered, they didn’t fit and there weren’t enough of them. Add to that the fact that they couldn’t get them up the staircase, poor Mick looked like he might be considering jumping off the roof. Especially when a row with Kevin over opening another unfinished staircase so the doors could be more easily manoeuvred got heated.

As the show drew to a close, Mick was asked if he thought the completion date for the end of February was likely to happen. He shook his head sadly and replied that there was no chance. He added that it would be more realistic to look at a completion date in mid April. However, Mark had already hired a marketing team who already had some bookings…

Another hilarious moment came when Mark summoned one of the marketing bods to his office to ask how things were going. As the man nervously twiddled with something in his hands, he told Mark that they had reservations – not misgivings, actual bookings. Mark went to hug him and I’ve never seen anyone look so scared. You probably have to see it to appreciate it, but the man looked like a deer caught in the headlights. And if you did miss it, you can see it here on iPlayer.

Next week sees the final instalment – which is a great shame – but we’ll get to see the fallout when a burst pipe causes havoc, just as the hotel is nearing completion. I just hope someone’s got some Valium to give to Mick…